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RUSH: Try this headline from the Rocky Mountain News: ‘With the Democrat National Convention in Mind, the City of Denver has Banned Carrying Urine and Feces.’ A story written by Daniel Chacon, let me share parts of this story with you: ‘Poo and pee dominated a public hearing Monday on a new law that prohibits people from carrying certain items if they intend to use them for nefarious purposes. The law, crafted in advance of the Democratic National Convention, was adopted unanimously by the City Council. But not before a hearing laced with comedy and profanity. Representatives from some of the groups planning large-scale protests during the DNC this month said the ordinance was unnecessary and accused city officials of fear mongering. ‘The intent of this ordinance is to try to smear protesters and make them look as if they are somehow criminal or somehow going to engage in some kind of gross conduct,’ said Glenn Spagnuolo, an organizer with the Recreate 68 Alliance.’ Why would they think that, Glenn? The name of your group is Recreate 68. What happened in 68? Utter chaos, bombs, tear gas, and all kinds of burning fires, raging fires and automobiles in Chicago in 68. Recreate 68?

So now they can’t tell you that you can’t carry poop and pee around, and you get mad about it? You mean you intended to? ‘No, Mr. Limbaugh, we’re just afraid of what this is going to make people think of us.’ Don’t worry about that, Glenn, people already have you people sized up, and we’re hoping you perform, baby. (laughing) We hope Recreate 68 means exactly what it says. What was the name of that weapon that these protesters used? The crap cannon. The protesters were afraid that the cops had this device called a crap cannon that sent out certain kind of waves, and it caused the protesters to lose control of their bowels. So there may not be any need, Glenn, to carry feces around. You may just be able to bend down in the street and pick some up here after the crap cannon has been used on you people. Can you imagine the city council having to pass laws saying you cannot carry feces? I guess you can carry feces and pee around if you don’t plan on using it for nefarious purposes, but if you plan on using them for nefarious purposes, you can’t do it. (laughing) Oh, this is just too good. I don’t know who’s gonna check this.

‘The ordinance makes it illegal to carry certain items, such as chains, padlocks, carabiners and other locking devices.’ What is that, what’s a carabiner? Have you ever heard of that? Anyway, you can’t have one of those. You can’t have other locking devices, either. ‘It also prohibits the possession of noxious substances. Two of the most frequently used examples of a noxious substance are a bucket of urine and a ‘feces bomb.” And this is what protesters have been known to use, so they’ve been told they can’t do this. ‘Safety Manager Al LaCabe said the law will be applied in situations when certain items are going to be used in a disruptive way. He said officers will consider the totality of the circumstances. ‘Our intent for this bill is not about suppressing or chilling First Amendment rights,’ he said.’ Of course not, the Constitution clearly says you can run around and throw feces at people as an expression of free speech. The situation is when certain items are going to be used in a disruptive way. Can you imagine the city council debating this? At least they voted unanimously for it.

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