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Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, I asked for Joe Biden. I pleaded with The Messiah, the Lord Barack Obama the Most Merciful, to give me Joe Biden. And he came through in a botched text message announcement, supposed to come at 3 a.m. I don’t know where to start. I do not know where to start today, folks. I really don’t. Pelosi on Meet the Press said the Catholic Church is unsure when life begins. You can’t even categorize this, how stupid it is. There’s not an English word made to describe the lack of energy in the brain of Nancy Pelosi. ‘Stupid’ doesn’t cut it. ‘Silly’ doesn’t cut it. She doesn’t know that natural gas is a fossil fuel. The Democrats are trying to put out fires between the Obamas and the Clintons. Bill is all upset over his assigned speech topic. He wants to talk about his great record, his great economy and contrast that with Bush’s, and they want him to talk about something else. After picking Biden at three in the morning — and, by the way, these text message people did not get their messages first. The media found out about it about 40 minutes before the text message went out. But what kind of thinking is it to make this announcement at three o’clock in the morning? I mean, I know it’s supposed to be, ‘I’m ready at 3 a.m. I’m ready to make a decision at 3 a.m.’ I mean, that’s what this is, but that’s defensive. That was silly. It was like you’re trying to hide the pick.

Then CNN went out there and breathlessly did a poll Saturday and Sunday after Biden had been announced, and guess what? Obama lost ground. He and McCain now tied 47-47 in a CNN poll. We learn from none other than the New York Times that Biden’s son is a lobbyist and is involved in business dealings overseen by his father, Joe, in terms of passing legislation or authoring and supporting legislation favorable to his kid. On Saturday morning we had a story in the New York Times — I have to laugh at this, too — on Saturday morning we had a story from the New York Times about how, damn it, every year we hear politicians say that we’re going to get the big money out of politics, get the special interests out of it, and then they talked about how much money was going to be spent just at Invesco Field at Mile High on Thursday night for Obama’s big acceptance speech and how all the corporate suites are going for millions of dollars and Obama is going to be up there rubbing elbows before and after, and I got to thinking, how does this happen? It is part of a media template that every year we’re going to get rid of Big Money and that every year we’re going to get rid of the special interests, and we never do. It’s never, ever going to happen, either party. Money is the mother’s milk of politics. It just flabbergasts me to see the same old wizards of smart in the Drive-By Media continue to report every four years something that’s never going to change and then write complaining. This story was sort of complaining about Obama and there’s nothing new here in terms of change.

And, of course, with the selection of Biden, Biden’s been in the Senate longer than McCain’s been in the Senate. Change? We all know what this pick was about. This pick is about two things. Well, it’s actually about three. It’s about the failed intern trip to Europe. It’s about the fact that Obama demonstrated he has no clue on foreign policy, and they need to give him some substance, some gravitas on foreign policy, so they’ve done this with Biden. How do you pick a guy who didn’t get 1% in Iowa in two different presidential runs? And how do you say it’s a good pick, and how do you not pick Mrs. Clinton, who got all those votes, and could certainly shore up areas that Obama is weak? Well, we know why they didn’t pick the Clintons. I thought for sure when I asked them to give me Biden that they’d see that as a sign, ‘Don’t do it, don’t do it, Limbaugh is prepared, don’t do it,’ but they came through. I don’t know if you saw their speech on Saturday afternoon, their coming-out party where Obama introduced Biden as the next president and Biden started making fun of his wife’s education and then said he was just joking. They used the term Scranton, Pennsylvania, five times, between them. Do you see that? You know why?

Biden was born in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He hadn’t lived in Scranton, Pennsylvania, in 55 years, but if you go back to the Democrat primaries because of Operation Chaos, Obama lost Pennsylvania by ten points with six weeks to campaign there with no major primary. He loses it by ten points and Scranton is typical of the areas in Pennsylvania that Obama lost, so they think that Biden being from Pennsylvania, from Scranton, is going to somehow get the Pennsylvania vote. This is a stretch and it’s a reach. Folks, it’s breathtaking here. Tim Kaine said today, I think this morning on Fox, get out your maps. Tim Kaine, The Eyebrow, governor of Virginia said that, you know, Delaware borders Virginia, and that will help Obama with the Virginia vote. Well, it’s nowhere near Virginia. It borders New Jersey and Pennsylvania and Maryland. It’s part of Delmarva Peninsula, but it doesn’t border Virginia, and the governor of Virginia said it did. Then we’ve got Ben Affleck. Now, Ben Affleck’s going to the convention along with a lot of other celebrities, and his PR guy said, (paraphrasing) ‘Hey, you know, I know celebrities showing up at these things, it’s kind of a strange thing, really is, but the fact is it’s not our fault that Ben Affleck is more well read and 98% smarter on foreign policy and domestic issues than the rest of us.’ I read that, and I said, ‘Don’t you understand that’s the problem? Affleck is a dunce, and he’s 98% smarter than the rest of you people in the Democrat Party on this, and you’re looking at this as a crowning achievement.’

Then Madonna, with her, ‘Look at me, I’m a new whore at age 50 tour,’ comes out and compares McCain to Hitler and Obama to Gandhi, and the McCain camp’s right in there fighting back. And then Ted Kennedy is going to show up tonight. He’s in Denver. They’re going to have a big video. This night — tonight — is going to be big. They’re going to have Michelle (My Belle) and I’m wondering — no, I’m not going to mention this. That would be totally sexist to mention this. I’m just not going to do it. Is she pregnant? She’s wearing stuff that makes her look pregnant. I’m just wondering if she’s going to announce it tonight in her speech at the Democrat convention. It’s just a wild guess, ladies and gentlemen. And then, we all remember that the Senate, the House government congressional hearings have been looking into baseball and steroids. The reason is that they’re unnatural, that they’re cheating, all these athletes using steroids to give themselves an unfair advantage over the non-cheaters. Why are Joe Biden’s hair plugs any different? Joe Biden now has an unfair advantage in the game of politics with hair that is not where God intended it to be. It’s just so unfair to Dick Cheney, for example. It’s all the more reason for McCain to rise above all this and pick a vice president with lots of hair.

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