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Rush’s Morning Update: A Test For Testies
October 13, 2008

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My friends, we have wonderful news — let me rephrase that — we have interesting news from the wonderful world of science. Researchers have found that cells taken from men’s … onions — appear to be just as versatile as stem cells that come from embryos.

Scientists at the Center forsomething inBiology and Medicine — in Germany — used cells from men between the ages of 17 and 81. After a few weeks growth these testicular cells apparently performed well. They were able to be reprogrammed into different types of cells — which means — like embryonic cells — they might be used to find cures for all kinds of afflictions.

Looking at this news through a political prism there are pluses and minuses. The ethical dilemmas of using human embryos for research are now gone – a plus. And, this breakthrough is more proof that liberals lied when they claimed embryonic cells were the only option. So, no more campaign ads on this issue denouncing Republicans as evil, anti-science zealots who lack compassion.

Now, the minuses. If cells from male testicles are going to be used, segments of the male population will be unable to contribute. Moderate Republican men will be under represented. Liberal men are out. They don’t have any, period. They have no onions — therefore — no onion cells. But on the bright side many liberal women have the onions their men lack… took ’em a long time ago,so perhaps the scientists that test for testies will be be able to tap them instead. It’s an ineresting proposition.

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