RUSH: Breathe easy. Breathe easy, my friends. Relax out there. Calm down. The scandal in the Blagosphere involving Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich does not affect President-select Obama. I know this for a fact, and I will share with you how I know this for a fact in mere moments, but fear not, breathe easy. Your president-elect is not corrupt. Your president-elect is as innocent and clean and pure as the wind-driven snow.
(playing of Leave It to Barry spoof)
It’s a sitcom. We are in the midst of a sitcom. God is writing a sitcom, ladies and gentlemen. And Everybody’s a Winner. Great to have you with us. Here’s the phone number if you want to be on the program today, 800-282-2882 , and the e-mail address is ElRushbo@eibnet.com.
The Blagojevich scandal, ladies and gentlemen, cannot affect President-elect Obama. I mean, all this hard-wired Chicago corruption, Illinois corruption, it cannot possibly affect President-elect Obama. It can’t affect Rahm Emanuel; it can’t affect Dick Durbin. Now, how do I know this? Why am I so sure? Why am I doubtless? That’s right, exactly, the media woulda told us about this! Obama has been vetted like every other presidential candidate in this country has been vetted fully by the legends of the old media. When the Rezko scandal broke, they had to vet Obama. When the Jeremiah Wright scandal broke, they had to vet Obama. And when the name of Bill Ayers surfaced, they had to go out there and vet Obama. Dit-dit-ditto.
When ex-President Clinton said President-elect Obama had the instincts of a Chicago street thug, I’m sure the media, ‘President Clinton said that,’ the media went in there and did a thorough investigation, did a media anal exam of Barack Obama. I’m sure the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, AP, Reuters, Broder, Brokaw, even Larry King, if there were something like this in Obama’s background, they would have told us during the campaign. And we didn’t learn anything like this during the campaign. So this is a huge relief. The corruption bug in Illinois bites only governors when they become governors. And now I see what Obama meant when he said ‘hope,’ he meant he hoped he’s not involved in this. He said he hoped the old media had vetted him enough. This is why I am totally comfortable, ladies and gentlemen, with the fact that Obama is — in fact, there are some contradictions to this, but the media, they vet everybody, and they dig deep, and they find out everybody’s flaws, people that want this kind of power — don’t you understand what I’m saying here?
If they had found anything like this involving Blagojevich that touched Obama, well, they would have told us. And they didn’t. In fact, the New York Times today, headline of the story may as well be: ‘Thank God for Barack Obama.’ ‘Obama’s intervention for ethics bill indirectly led to case against governor.’ The New York Times is telling us that if it weren’t for Obama, we wouldn’t have caught Blagojevich. ‘In a sequence of events that neatly captures the contradictions of Barack Obama’s rise through Illinois politics, a phone call he made three months ago to urge passage of a state ethics bill indirectly contributed to the downfall of a fellow Democrat he twice supported, Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich.’
Thank God for Barack Obama. Not only the media vet him, the media is now telling us that if it weren’t for Obama, who is as clean and pure as the wind-driven snow, I mean he’s in the middle of all these guys, untouched by any of it. He’s The Messiah. If he hadn’t come up with this ethics bill, why, we might not have ever learned the truth about Blago. Oh, wait, what’s this? Hang on. I was just handed a story here from AP-Obama dated today. I don’t believe this. Headline: ‘Questionable Associations of Obama.’ What? By the AP. ‘In his life and career in Illinois , President-elect Barack Obama has crossed paths with some notable figures who have drawn scorn and scrutiny.’ Among them, Governor Blagojevich, and Tony Rezko. Who’s Tony Rezko? They never told us about Rezko before the election. Rezko raised money for the campaigns of Obama and Blago. Whoa, Obama knew this guy? Jeremiah Wright. Let’s see, four paragraphs on Blago, three paragraphs on Rezko. Five paragraphs on Jeremiah Wright. AP-Obama.
‘Wright was Obama’s minister for 20 years. He helped Obama embrace Christianity, performed Obama’s marriage, and baptized Obama and his two daughters. Wright was known for thundering ‘God Damn America’ in clips that dominated cable television.’ Uh, gee, folks, I may be wrong about this. I had put my trust in the media to have vetted Obama and we’re getting it now, after he’s been elected. Oh, there’s four more paragraphs on Ayers! Bill Ayers. Who is Bill Ayers? Bill Ayers ‘is a university professor and a member of Chicago’s intellectual establishment. Forty years ago he was a member of the Weather Underground, a radical group that,’ that blew up the Pentagon and the US Capitol. Obama knows this guy? Blew up the Capitol and the Pentagon? And this preacher saying God bleep America? And that we deserve what we got on 9/11? Did you know any of this? Uh, let’s see. ‘Ayers was a fugitive for years with his wife, fellow radical Bernardine Dohrn,’ who is a good friend of Obama’s wife. The First Lady knew these two bombers.
Do you realize what’s just happened to my credibility? I just opened this program by saying there’s no way Obama could be tainted by any of this, now here comes AP telling me he knows all these guys intimately. ‘Emil Jones, the president of the Illinois Senate, amounts to Obama’s political godfather and was an important part of Obama’s longshot victory for US Senate in 2004. He helped the little-known politician meet the right people,’ Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Rashid Khalidi? Obama knows a militant Islamist? ‘Khalidi is a scholar and author on Middle Eastern affairs who has criticized Israeli policies and was part of a Palestinian advisory panel to peace talks in the early 1990s. He’s also a friend of Obama.’
He is a noted Jew hater! Oh, my God. Who’s this? ‘Michael Pfleger, a Roman Catholic priest in Chicago, has been known as a firebrand for years. He has protested over a wide range of issues, including gun shops and Jerry Springer. Obama has referred to him as a spiritual adviser.’ He had two spiritual advisors? He had this Pfleger guy and Jeremiah Wright. Damn, I had no idea. AP just came out with this.
RUSH: There’s a name on this questionable associations story of Barack Obama. Is this not hilarious? Folks, this gets even better. The sitcom just continues, written by God. There’s a name left off of this list of questionable associations of Barack Obama, and his name is Richard Daley. Now, Richard Daley somehow is magically escaping any discussion about anything that happened here, and anybody who knows Chicago politics knows that it all runs through Mayor Daley, and Mayor Daley and Blagojevich were not close. They were not good buddies. They have had their contretemps over the years. In fact, I actually think that one of the reasons that Barack Obama is president is that Richard Daley wanted him outta Illinois, because Richard Daley didn’t want him staying there running for governor. Richard Daley didn’t want to have to do battle with a messiah as governor of Illinois. So, they arrange for him to run for president. Lo and behold, he stuns everybody and wins!