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RUSH: Liberal Drive-By infobabe mugged outside Washington hotel this morning. Is this the first step to her becoming a conservative? Greetings, my friends, and welcome. Rush Limbaugh, the Excellence in Broadcasting Network, and we are back at the EIB Southern Command. We got outta there in the nick of time. There’s a major snowstorm headed in there, perhaps six inches, and of course no snow removal because of budget cutbacks — no, I’m kidding. That’s Chicago, I forgot, Chicago, no snow removal because of budget cuts. Here’s the phone number, folks, if you want to be on the program. 800-282-2882. The e-mail address, ElRushbo@eibnet.com.

Mika Brzezinski was headed to an interview with the Washington Mayor, Adrian Fenty, this morning. She’s standing outside the hotel. They have not named the hotel. It’s about six o’clock in the morning, and she got mugged, a mugger approached her from across the street and demanded $20. All she had, all she had, a liberal Drive-By infobabe, all she had, ladies and gentlemen, was six measly dollars, and she forked it over to the mugger, and the mugger then went away. Joe Scarborough gave the details of this story on his PMSNBC television program this morning. She was waiting for a car to pick her up to take her to the 6 a.m. broadcast. She was embarrassed by what happened and complained that the bell desk should have been paying attention. The hotel should have had somebody outside there. I don’t know why they’re not naming the hotel. My guess is the reason they’re not naming the hotel is that NBC people stay there a lot, probably get a good rack rate and they don’t want to embarrass the hotel any more than they are doing so here publicly, but it will leak out, because people know where NBC stays in Washington, DC.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, as you know, I have a unique take on most things that happen. To me, the most interesting aspect of this is not what so many people are e-mailing me about, and that is, ‘Will she now become conservative,’ because, you know, the old cliche is a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged, and she got mugged. She got held up for six bucks. The mugger, though, working cheap, accepted six bucks after demanding $20. What happened to Mika Brzezinski makes the case for tax cuts. She works in the Drive-By Media. She works in television. It’s as though she’s got nothing left after giving Bernie Madoff the money. She only has six bucks to give the man who is down on his luck. We have to understand who muggers are. Muggers are the salt of the earth; they’re the backbone of America. They just have been placed in this current circumstance because of the evils of the Bush administration and supply side trickle-down economics. These are good people. They have been forced into thuggery, muggery, and holdups in order to survive.

What happened to Mika Brzezinski is exactly why we need permanent, across-the-board tax cuts. If we cannot keep more of our own money, muggers are going to have to work over time. This guy could have gotten everything he wanted from one victim, but because Mika Brzezinski only had a measly six bucks, he had to probably go hold up a couple or three more people to make his take. That puts that many more people in danger, and, of course, the mugger risks getting caught with each attempt here at fleecing somebody. He could end up in jail as well. I mean, how is it that Drive-By infobabe on the road doesn’t have enough money to help out a fellow citizen who’s down on his luck. This country is better than that. When we get held up, we should have more than six bucks to give the muggers. You know what the rich are told, the rich are told to walk around with a significant amount of cash because if you do get held up and you got a couple, $300 bucks, then your odds of surviving the mugging are greater than if you don’t have anything. So the rich are advised by their security personnel to carry significant amounts of cash. How is it you’re on the road and you’ve only got six bucks and you work in the Drive-By Media, you work for NBC Universal?

The mugger was a worker, by the way. He was out working. These are tough economic times. He probably lost his job at an auto plant or some such thing. Maybe he used to work at Wall Street, at a bank, who knows. Probably not paying his mortgage, still has his house, but he needs food. And to collect a measly six bucks from a Drive-By infobabe? That embarrasses me as an American, that somebody as accomplished and achieved as Mika Brzezinski only had six dollars. Can you imagine taking a road trip, folks, and only having six dollars? Remember, this happened before six o’clock in the morning. This mugger was up early. This mugger was a worker. He was up early working the streets. Somebody might want to hire this guy. This guy is loaded with initiative. This guy obviously has ambition. If Mika just had a measly 20 dollars on her, she gives the mugger the money and she can feel good about it. Now she has to carry the shame of only having six dollars with her and shorting this hard-pressed working American 14 bucks. This just proves to me, folks, we need a tax holiday.

This is what happens when the government hoards all of our money. Muggers have to mug more people per day just to get by. If we had tax cuts, Mika had 20 bucks, this guy would get his $20, he doesn’t have to work again until after lunch. Think about it. The mugger had to take what amounts to a 70% pay cut because he had to settle for pathetic six bucks because that’s all Mika Brzezinski had and he’s gotta make that up by mugging more people. It just isn’t right. These people are out of work because of circumstances beyond their control. Let me weigh in now in their effort to keep up, they’ve gotta mug even harder. This is not the America I have grown up with. Liberals are in charge however. Mika will get a tax increase and muggers will have to work a little harder because people like Mika Brzezinski and future marks will have less cash. (interruption) Well, certainly she’s going to be able to expense this, Mr. Snerdley. The news story is the receipt. I’m sure the mugger did not give her a receipt for the six dollars. See, that’s another thing. I would be embarrassed to expense this. If I were Mika Brzezinski, to turn this in, I want six bucks here ’cause I was mugged, it would embarrass me to say that’s all I had.

Folks, it’s not the same country, we all just have to admit this here. I wonder how they are going to deal with this during the inauguration of The Messiah. Ho! Speaking of that, he has asked Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church out there to do the prayer. And this poet, by the way, he has asked this poet, and I’ve done a little research into this poet. This poet has got a smut mind like you would not believe. This poet puts Eve Ensler and The Vagina Monologues, it may as well be kindergarten to what this poet has written. You know, with Bill Clinton we had Maya Angelou who did the River, the Rock, and the Tree, and talked about dinosaur droppings. Remember that? Dinosaur, dry pellets or some such thing, and Clinton is back there with that W.C. Fields grin on his face and applauding. (doing Clinton impression) ‘I love that, I love the fact we got dinosaur droppings being discussed here at my inauguration. Wow.’

I think what might need to happen here, we’re going to have card check. The Obama campaign owes the unions and the unions are going to try to unionize as many businesses and occupations as possible, and I think why not unionize muggers. Why not unionize them and give them a guaranteed minimum. If you get mugged you know that the mugger is going to be a member of a union. What’s the difference? And that you have a minimum you’re going to have to carry around when you’re in Washington if you get hit by unionized mugger, could have his union card, maybe wear a little pin on the shirt or the cap to identify himself as a union mugger. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, so United Muggers of America, UMA.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski discussed her mugging today on Morning Joe. Cohost Willie Geist, ‘Joe Scarborough, tell us what happened this morning.’

SCARBOROUGH: Mika was waiting for the car. I’m not going to say what hotel she was staying at. And she got mugged this morning.

BRZEZINSKI: It’s okay.

SCARBOROUGH: She’s sitting outside of a hotel, and a guy comes up to her and says, ‘Give me your money and nothing will happen to you.’ She had six dollars.

BRZEZINSKI: I had six dollars.

SCARBOROUGH: It was infuriating to me —

BRZEZINSKI: Yeah, it’s no big deal.

SCARBOROUGH: — that this hotel —

BRZEZINSKI: And he probably just needed the money. I was a little nervous it wouldn’t be enough. He wanted $20.

RUSH: See, he just needed the money. Mika understands a poor, out of work guy, probably brought on by Bush economics, Reaganomics, you never know. She feels bad, too, that she only had six bucks. This poor mugger is going to have to go out and work even harder. She would have had more than six bucks if we had tax cuts. And so then the mayor of DC was the scheduled guest on their show today, and Scarborough says, ‘Sitting outside a hotel door with a bell stand, the guy walks across the street straight for her and mugs her, and the mayor says…’

FENTY: This is what mayors do. You know that, Joe.

SCARBOROUGH: Yeah.

FENTY: We’re going to look at it and work with the hotel and the police department.

BRZEZINSKI: Oh, Lord. (laughing embarrassingly)

FENTY: We will.

BRZEZINSKI: Mayor, it was six dollars. It’s okay. Seriously.

RUSH: Well, see, she’s got the right attitude about this. It was just six dollars. I’m sure she wishes that she had had the full $20, isn’t any big deal, but for those of you who think that she’s going to head into conservatism because of this, you can think again.

Russell in Vancouver, Washington, let’s go to the phones and start with you, sir. Great to have you on the EIB Network. Hello.

CALLER: Hello, Rush.

RUSH: Hey.

CALLER: Dittos. 20-year-listener here.

RUSH: Thank you.

CALLER: I just wanted to suggest that maybe this man’s not a mugger. He’s a wealth redistribution specialist, and he is probably working under a community organizer in the first tier of the new administration’s trickle up economic plan.

RUSH: I like your thinking out there. I can tell you that you are a 20-year veteran listener of this program. We have rubbed off on you in profound ways. This, in fact, could well be a microcosm, this is a sign what’s going to happen to all of us, shortly after January 20th next year. The mugger is going to come disguised as somebody different, but we’re all going to get mugged at some point, this is just a little warning sign. So you think a community organizer was practicing trickle-up economics here?

CALLER: He may just work for the IRS, you never know.

RUSH: Nah, the mugger’s probably been laid off, and I think he’s in dire economic circumstances, and this is why it’s a shame that Mika Brzezinski only had six dollars.

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