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“Economically, the American left is out to destroy this country as it was founded and as it is known today, and Obama’s not trying to stop it.”

“You expected us to be here today, and here we are. Everybody else is on vacation, and we here at the EIB Network are live from the offices of America’s Anchorman.”

“It has now become a status symbol among the rich to say that you got ripped off by Bernie Madoff. These people don’t think it makes ’em look stupid. It continues to elevate their status, they think.”

“The stock market, ladies and gentlemen, is down 40 points on the news that Vladimir Putin is outpolling Obama on Drudge’s hunkiest authoritarian socialist poll, and it’s not even close out there. Putin is running away with this, and I frankly am surprised because I thought it would be the other way around.”

“Putin looks like a fully developed man as you would expect somebody in the KGB to look. Obama looks boyish. He looks beanpole-ish while he does have some definition. I think that’s why Obama’s losing this big time.”

“Do you think Lincoln would have closed Club Gitmo or given terrorists the kind of rights Obama and his liberal buddies insist on? Lincoln had opposing party members put in jail for opposing him on the Civil War. Obama wants to give our enemies that kind of benefit of the doubt! Lincoln was all about victory in a war, period.”

“It’s not what Obama says; it’s how he says it — and it’s how he looks when he says it.”

“You liberals are going to have to understand something: I’m not the one that wants to put limits on anybody. You people are.”

“George W. Bush stopped playing golf with his father and with his family during the Iraq war because he said, ‘It just doesn’t look good.’ Obama’s out there eating seaweed and Spam. He’s playing golf.”

“The Drive-Bys just love the fact that they get to pack off and go to Hawaii now, instead of Crawford, Texas.”

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