Paul Mulshine is an unhappy man. He is a columnist –New Jersey Star-Ledger — and hedoesn’t approve of SUVs. He complains of an encounter with “the latest threat on the roads: a dimwit” — that’s you –“with bright lights”: an SUV with headlights bright enough “to announce the grand opening of a shopping center.” According to Mulshine, SUV gas-guzzlers run cars off the road and block intersections. And when they’re parked, “they obscure the view of cars entering the roadway.”
Now, in the good old days, Mulshine enjoyed driving — when only hunters and fishermen had four-wheel-drive vehiclesand pickups were driven by people “who actually needed them to make a living.” Everybody else, he writes wistfully, drove on the same level: in cars.
Mulshine’s column celebrates the recent Ninth Circus Court of Appeals decision (talked about it last week), which knocked down the government’s latest fuel economy standards. Among other things, the Ninth Circus ordered the Department of Transportation to drop distinctions between cars and “light trucks”; which means that, when it comes to fuel standards, a “Hummer [c]ould be treated the same as a Honda Civic.” Now, if the ruling stands, Mr. Mulshine gloats, it’lleffectively lead to “the end of the SUV as we know it.”
Now, Iremember.I remember the catcalls from you people when I warned years ago — back in the 90s — [that] the mission of environmentalist wackos was to ban SUVS. Some of you doubters(and you know who you are)… you laughed at me. But unless the Supreme Court jumps in, you’ll only be laughing in your government-mandated lawnmower-powered vehicles.
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