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“We already know the stimulus has failed in its stated purpose. Why, then, would we trust these same people with nationalized health care?”

“So now we have Timmy Geithner –who we so needed to get our economy going again that Congress overlooked his tax evasion –saying that you losing your job is necessary and healthy. That’s Barack Obama’s America for you.”

“I was watching Pat Leahy in his opening statement today, and he said that the ‘classics’ were unavailable to Sotomayor. The classics? My guess is she’d have found racism in all the classics.”

“The Gallup poll sees more Americans moving right, but don’t get your hopes up on that — it’s just because it’s physically impossible for us to go more left right now.”

“Regina Benjamin also does not believe doctors should make a profit. What more could anyone possibly want in a Surgeon General? The only thing that could make her better is if she also believed in masturbation to stop pregnancy, as Joycelyn Elders did.”

“You see how this race thing works, folks: If you’re a liberal, nothing you say can be held against you.”

“At some point, enough Americans are not going to want to see the permanent destruction of the private sector where they earn their living. And at that point, there better be an opposition party that can handle all the people fed up with the status quo.”

“I got into a big, knock-down, drag-out fight on my trip with someone who said, ‘We need to go get the independents, we need to get the moderates.’ I said, ‘That’s how we lose! That’s how we got McCain!'”

“Andrea Mitchell said of Sarah Palin, ‘Lord knows she’s attractive.’ That’s the rub. That’s part of what grates on them. Trust me, my friends. Trust me. When your poster chick is Barbara Mikulski…you get the drift.”

“Is the Michael Jackson funeral over? Is it?”

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