RUSH: This is Bev in Willow City, North Dakota. Great to have you on the EIB Network. How are you?
CALLER: Hello, Rush, I’m great and I’m sure happy to be able to talk to you. But I got kind of a bone to pick with you. Last two days I’ve been listening to you and you kind of made me almost doggone mad. My family teased me because I listen to you so much. But how come on Monday you had to go after Glenn Beck because he’s talked about the Republicans sharing the responsibility for this economic mess?
RUSH: Wait a minute, Bev. I didn’t go after Glenn Beck.
CALLER: Oh, you did.
RUSH: No, I did not.
CALLER: Oh, yeah.
RUSH: I was simply asked: ‘What would you have said?’ Some people want to know what I would have said. I simply said I would have gone a different direction. That’s all.
CALLER: Well, you did. In your speech you gave — I listened to you last year, and you gave a great speech. Glenn Beck also gave a great speech —
RUSH: I didn’t say it wasn’t a great speech.
CALLER: — and you seem to be protective of the Republicans, and I happen to —
RUSH: See, here we go.
CALLER: — believe that they share some responsibility for the mess this country is in.
RUSH: Let me tell you something, Bev. I was one of the first people to point this out, and I can’t tell you the number of times I got calls from the White House saying, ‘Hey, could we come down and talk to you and try to get your mind right on this?’ Medicare entitlement? I wasn’t for it. Harriet Miers? No way. She wasn’t qualified to be in the Supreme Court. All of the spending, ‘No Child Left Behind,’ working with Ted Kennedy on the education bill, compassionate conservatism? ‘No Child Left Behind,’ all this stuff, I was against it from the get-go.
CALLER: I know that.
CALLER: But for some reason you’re not getting the message across, then, because those Republicans haven’t changed, they must not be listening to you for the last 20 years —
RUSH: What is —
CALLER: — they won’t change.
RUSH: What is —
CALLER: — a lot of us have been writing them —
CALLER: — we’ve been talking to our congressmen.
CALLER: We’ve been telling them what conservatism is. And they don’t seem to understand it.
RUSH: All right. All right. All right. Bev, I don’t think you’ve been listening to me closely enough.
CALLER: Yes, I have.
RUSH: You can’t possibly have been listening to me as closely as you should have this week or even in previous weeks or whatever. But never mind. I realize that I have in many minds similar to yours, Bev, that I’ve gone astray. I somehow don’t get it. I somehow am partially responsible for all this Republican spending. I’m partially responsible for the fact that the Republicans have not changed in 20 years, and I have not done enough to steer the Republicans in the right direction, that many of you think I’m just a lapdog for the Republicans. So, the only thing I can think to do is do to myself what I think you would like to do to me. Snerdley, are you yelling at another caller? Is it a caller who wants to get on my case about the same thing? Remember, Snerdley, you’ve been suspended for this. Be polite like I was polite here to Bev. But there’s something that has to be done here. I’m just going to do to myself what I know many of you would like to do to me if you had the chance.
So I want to stand up, you watching on the Dittocam, this will be a treat for you. All right, here we go, standing up. I’m now putting the microphone near my rear end. I’m going to spank myself for not making the Republicans do the right thing. (crying and spanking) Okay. Now, I hope that has made you feel better. I really did hurt myself. I coulda made it easier by looking at a picture of Hannah Storm. But I didn’t. Self-inflicted pain because I haven’t done the right thing. I, in 20 years, have failed to change the Republicans. Hell, almost 20-and-a-half years, I have not done one thing to get the Republicans to stop being exactly like the Democrats. You’re right, there’s no difference in Mike Pence and Barack Obama. There’s no difference in Eric Cantor and Nancy Pelosi. There’s no difference in Jim DeMint and Harry Reid. And it’s going to take me awhile to get my arms around that and join you in that view of things. I just want you to know I’ll be working on it.
(playing of Rush opera song: We Love to Hear Rush Limbaugh)
RUSH: (buzzer) The Republicans, all they do is spend and spend and spend and spend!
RUSH: (buzzer) We have to get rid of the Republicans.
RUSH: Your guiding light through times of trouble, confusion, murkiness, tumult, chaos, dissension, and even the good times, Rush Limbaugh, the EIB Network
(playing of Thank the Lord Rush Limbaugh’s On)
RUSH: (buzzer) There’s not a dime’s worth of difference between the Republicans and Democrats.
(continued playing of song)
RUSH: That is the Rush Hawkins Singers and Thank the Lord Rush Limbaugh’s On. Now, Rush Hawkins Singers is great, great tune requested by a drive-by caller not all that long ago.