RUSH: I saw on Drudge, and Drudge has this headline. It’s ‘Star Magazine: Al Gore Cheats with Larry David’s Ex.’ Star Magazine apparently is gonna report at some point down the line that Algore and Tipper’s divorce was because Algore had an affair, and remember we talked about this. I just summarily rejected that because you can’t see it. You just can’t. I mean, there has to be a willing participant in an affair, and you just can’t see it.
So now: Who is it? Who could it possibly be? I mean, I wouldn’t think it’s a limitless number of options here. I wonder who it could be. (interruption) Dawn, you have any ideas? Who might it be? None? You don’t have any? One possibility is that Gore is having an affair with Gaia, which could be a tree, could be a bush — uh, a shrub. Well, Mother Earth at Gore’s age? (interruption) No, no, no, no. It just says ‘Gore Affair.’ It says ‘Star Mag: Gore Affair. Developing…’ It could be Laurie David. Laurie David divorced her husband Larry. She got an Academy Award up there for being producer. Wouldn’t that be funny? (laughing) So we got Gaia, Mother Earth. (laughing) It could be Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo DiCaprio went nuts at the Academy Awards when Gore got his Oscar. I mean, he literally went nuts. (interruption)
RUSH: All right, folks, it’s an exclusive. Star Magazine: ‘Algore Cheats with Larry David’s Ex,’ Laurie David. ‘Al Gore’s split from wife Tipper after 40 years of marriage was a shock to everyone who thought theirs was the ideal marriage. Now Star can exclusively reveal that the former Vice President was having an affair with Larry David’s ex-wife,’ whose name is Laurie. I was joking! See? This is what happens. When I make jokes about these people, they come true. (interruption) You thought I was joking about the Star Magazine story? You thought I was making that all up? (interruption) Oh, I was joking about Laurie David, just like I’ve been joking with Gaia, just like joking about Mother Earth and Leonardo DiCaprio. (interruption) Well, but, you know, she was intim– uh, I was going to say ‘intimately’ — involved with the production of the movie, An Inconvenient Lie. Whatever… (interruption) Snerdley. (sigh) There’s no explaining this.