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“I’m coming down with a bit of a head cold today. Every time I give up tobacco products, it happens. When I’m smoking cigars, I never, ever get a cold. I get the flu sometimes, but I never, ever get a cold.”

“Tax cuts to Obama is like the cross to Dracula.”

“You know where the greatest repository of greed in the world is? It’s in Washington, DC, and it’s in everybody who lives off the pile of money in there every day.”

“Snerdley had an interesting observation: American women, particularly newswomen, when they head overto these Islamic countries, they observe every sexist, bigoted custom. And in our country, they tell us to go to hell.”

“Now, if it’s true that Michelle Obama thinks her job is ‘hell’, this would go a long way in explaining her endless string of lavish vacations and parties.”

“Just yesterday Christine O’Donnell had 50 grand on tap, was down 25 points, and had no prayer. Today she’s got over a million dollars and she’s only down 11 — in one day! Don’t tell us we can’t win!”

“We’re not talking about purity here. We’re talking about loyalty. We’re talking about right versus wrong. If you’re for Obama, become a Democrat. Don’t tarnish our brand.”

“I resent this attention being focused on independents and moderates. I can’t stand so much money and attention being spent on people who won’t have the guts to tell us what they think.”

“Obama put Vice President Bite Me in charge of making sure Porkulus money would be spent wisely, but almost a million dollars of the money was spent teaching people how to wash genitals.”

“By the way, Mr. Brown, with all due respect, if it weren’t for conservatives and Tea Party activists nationwide raising money for you, you wouldn’t be in the Senate.”

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