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Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: I have to let you in on a little secret. Well, it’s not really a secret. I’ll just let you in on things going on that otherwise you wouldn’t know. You know we have people who are paid handsomely to endure nighttime cable shows, to watch them. I can’t deal with it. Life’s too short and I want to stay ebullient and in a good mood.

So there are people, employees here, who watch that stuff and then — because they know me, know me well — determine what, if anything, from these shows we should use as audio sound bites. And I think three of the five nights this week this new show Parker Spitzer has a mentioned me. And I told staffers here, ‘They just want me to play sound bites on this show. They’re just trying to get me to talk about this show,’ and I said, ‘I’m not going to do it. I know exactly what they’re doing. I know how this works.’ So I didn’t talk about the show. I got a phone call this morning from the executive vice president of sales asking me to approve a buy from CNN for Parker Spitzer next week. They are buying some 30-second commercials on this program next week to promote their show because I wouldn’t mention ’em. Now I have mentioned ’em of course, but we always do this with new sponsors. We give ’em a little bump. So… (interruption) Well, we rate card. We charge the normal rate card when we make a deal.

You know, it’s like American Express will say, ‘Can you give us a break?’

I say, ‘Yeah, if you’ll give me a break on my credit card bill every month.’

‘Well, we can’t do that.’

‘Welcome to business. You pay what we charge, I pay what you charge, and everything’s clean.’

Look, I use American Express as an example. That hasn’t happened, but I always use it just as an example. I like it clean and pure as the wind-driven snow. So Parker Spitzer are sponsors next week and a sales guy called me up, ‘Do you want to take their money?’ I said, ‘Hell, yeah! What’s the question? I’ll take CNN’s money.’ (interruption) It may lead to live reads. They may ask me to do endorsements. (laughing)

No. No. No, Snerdley, I wouldn’t. Since we’re talking inside baseball, my sales staff, folks, are some of the most frustrated people. You know, we are constantly sold out on this program. We have not had a down year since we began in 1988. I accept one out of every 11 or 12 requests to endorse or spokesmanship a client or product, and, you know salespeople. It’s not in their DNA to say ‘no’ to somebody who wants to spend money, especially when they’re offering me.

And when I turn it down 11 out of every 12 times, it’s very frustrating at them. So, no. I will not do live reads or endorsements of Parker Spitzer. I don’t even think they’ll ask. (interruption) (laughing) Well, somebody might pay extra just to get one and to hear one. Yeah. You never know where these things go, folks. See, this is all the kind of interesting stuff that you would never, ever know about unless I inform you of it. Which I am doing.

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