RUSH: Here’s Keith in Morgantown, West Virginia. Nice to have you on the Rush Limbaugh program. Hi.
CALLER: Mega dittos, Rush.
RUSH: Thank you, sir.
CALLER: I kind of disagree with how you look at like animals —
RUSH: Now, be very, very, very careful here. I love animals.
CALLER: Right. Now, I was kind of curious, are your pets spayed and neutered?
RUSH: Are my pets spayed and neutered?
RUSH: Two of them are, yes.
CALLER: I mean wouldn’t you advocate that maybe people have their pets spayed or neutered?
RUSH: It’s their business, not mine. If they want to get their pets spayed or neutered, feel free to do so. It’s none of my business.
CALLER: Well, I mean I understand it shouldn’t be legislated that they would have to.
RUSH: Well, I don’t care. It’s none of my business. If my neighbor has a dog and they want to get it spayed I’m not gonna say don’t do it. It’s none of my business what people do with their own dogs. My philosophy is: hands off our pets’ bodies.
CALLER: Well, what about the overpopulation of pets and so forth? I mean isn’t that kind of disturbing at all?
RUSH: Do you mean do I like seeing a bunch of pets in shelters?
CALLER: Well —
RUSH: This is not stuff that keeps me awake at night. It is what it is. I know that the way God created things. Life is going to make sure that it procreates. I mean, a dog is ready to have puppies in six months. That means that whoever created the dog wanted there to be a lot of them.
CALLER: Well, I mean, don’t we have some sort of stewardship on this, especially on our pets?
RUSH: We do, and I think a lot of people do have stewardship. But still, it’s none of your business, sir, what people do with their pets. I mean I was gracious enough to answer your question about the productivity status of mine, but there’s nothing you could say that would make me feel guilty about what I’ve done or change what I’m gonna do in the future. There’s one we’re on the cusp with. Our Old English sheepdog puppy Wellesley we’re at that point here where we gotta make a decision quick. This dog is so cute, looks like a punk rocker this dog. We might like a litter of them before we spay her. We may not. You know, do we want the hassle of having a bunch of little puppies running around throwing up on the house? This is real life decisions that you have to make.
CALLER: Okay. Well, thanks for kind of clearing that up for me, Rush.
RUSH: I’m glad to help. But, you know, the thing about this, my pets have no clue that any of this is being done. They don’t know what being spayed is. They don’t know what productivity is. They don’t know whether they’ve been fixed or not. All they care about is are we being nice to ’em and are they eating. They don’t even know whether other animals exist until they run around and see one. I was talking to Abbey the other night, I said, ‘Abbey, do you know that Wellesley is an Old English sheepdog just like you? When you look at Wellesley do you see yourself, do you know it’s the same kind of dog as you are?’ And Abbey’s looking at me, it’s the funniest dog face I’ve ever seen, ‘What, are you some kind of idiot?’ And I’m thinking, ‘I’m the idiot? She doesn’t know that she’s even a dog, much less an Old English sheepdog.’ She doesn’t know anything. She has no clue, because she didn’t name herself. She doesn’t have the ability to name herself. Anyway, I’m sure there is an application for this to the tax cut debate and if you’ll give me five minutes, I’ll find it.
RUSH: You know, you could talk about spaying dogs, you could about neutering dogs. If you want fewer dogs, tax ’em. It is well known that if you want less of anything, raise taxes on it. If you want more of something, don’t tax it. So if people are worried about an overpopulation of dogs then raise taxes on having one, an exorbitant pet tax. I mean what it costs now to register your dog and inoculate it and get the proof of that, that’s nothing. Start raising taxes, like cigarette taxes. If you put those kind of taxes on it and then raise health care costs for dogs to the point you can have health care insurance for dogs, there’s any number of ways to limit the dog and cat population.
Punkin had to go to the vet last week. Vet called, she went in for a checkup, blood samples, took her home, vet calls, ‘You better get her back here quick. We got a bad situation here.’ She had some toxin that got into her liver and her enzymes are way high. She’s still there. We might get her back today or tomorrow. You worry, the cat’s 13 years old, but she’s showing no signs of the age. You know, great vet. And we’ll probably get Punkin back — well, hopefully today, maybe tomorrow. But these two Old English sheepdogs, I mean they’re hilarious. This puppy, which is now eight months old, Wellesley, looks like a punk rocker, with the hair on top of the head. They’re just hilarious. But they’ve never once spoken to us about being spayed. They’re both females. Abbey has been spayed and so far has not expressed any anger about it, nor has she told us that she’s happy about it. To the best of my knowledge, she doesn’t know that she’s been spayed.
Now, Wellesley is another matter. We don’t know, ’cause Kathryn loves these dogs and is tempted by the idea of having a litter of these things running around, but the dogs don’t know any of this. (interruption) No they don’t, Snerdley, boy dogs do not know when they’ve been tampered with, they haven’t the slightest idea. If you do it without anesthesia they’ll know, but if you knock ’em out they have no clue. I can’t tell you the number of people that get irritated. I have learned how fun and easy it is to irritate people. And all I have to do is say something like, ‘Does a fish even know it’s wet? Does a fish know it’s in water?’ You would not believe the number of people who get ticked off. Now, that’s the essence and epitome of reality, is to show you some people can’t deal with that.
RUSH: Steven in Sterling, Illinois, you’re next on the Rush Limbaugh program. Hello, sir.
CALLER: Rush, chilly November and hand sanitizer dittos to you, sir.
RUSH: Thank you very much, sir.
CALLER: Just wanted to call, make a real quick comment if I could. Nobody would expect you to be like Bob Barker and sign off asking people to have their pet spayed and neutered, but the comment that you did make, it could be misconstrued when you said you don’t care what people do with their animals, it’s none of your business. People could be of the mind — and I know I’m not, I know that you’re a good steward of animals, I know how much you love Punkin and your other animals, but people could misunderstand that to think that maybe you don’t care about things like pit bull dog fighting or if somebody were to drown their cats in a gunnysack or animal cruelty, that kind of thing, I just thought you might want to expound on that a little bit if that is how you might feel.
RUSH: Before I expound on that, a question. Is it — you would know better than I — is it a common perception out there that I am for animal cruelty?
CALLER: Well, no. No. I wouldn’t think that. I’m sure there’s lots of people that think you’re a mean guy, but when you told the one guy that you don’t care what they do with their animals and it’s none of your business without a little bit of a caveat at the end of that, it could sound like he doesn’t care about —
RUSH: The subject matter was spayed and neutered and that’s what I was saying is none of my business, what people do with their animals. I certainly am not — you know, I don’t think Mike Vick’s a great guy and I’m not saying that cruelty to your animal or drowning them is fine with me as long as you want to do that. I’m not saying that at all.
CALLER: I understand.
RUSH: I don’t know how anybody could get there. They have to be wanting to assume that. To get to that point, they have to be wanting it ’cause nothing I have ever said in the course of my life has ever given any indication I’m for cruelty to animals.
CALLER: I understand and I agree fully. I just thought that people that don’t know how much you love your animals —
CALLER: — might hear you say that —
CALLER: — and might not understand.
RUSH: I appreciate it. I do know that during the animal rights debate a lot of people misunderstood. But see, I live in Literalville, and I said animals don’t have rights, not the way human beings do, they simply don’t and people did not understand that because people don’t live in Literalville. They said, ‘What do you mean, Mr. Limbaugh, animals don’t have rights?’ You watch the latest animal show on TV, what is it? It’s how one animal eats another. What about the rights of animals that get eaten? I know in our culture today I occupy a very small space. Realville does not have a whole lot of people living there. We don’t need a big fire department. We don’t need a whole lot of cops. Sewage system is easily manageable. We don’t have any zoning problems in Literalville. (laughing) There aren’t too many people here. And taxes in Literalville? Sky freaking high, like they are everywhere else. That’s another reason for the existence of Literalville.
Look, folks, if animals have rights, we are slave masters. It’s the only way you could look at animals and say they have rights. If they do, boy, are they getting the short end of the stick. Well, they are. They’re indentured slaves. That’s all they exist for. We do it under the guise of love, but, look, I don’t expect this to be understood because right now I’ve crossed the emotional barrier and people freaking out now. When we talk about spayed or neutered, I sometimes worry whether the Republican Party’s been spayed or neutered, but that’s about the extent of it. I am worried about that. That seems to be a little bit more relevant now.
RUSH: Joel in Glendora, California, hi. Great to have you on the program.
CALLER: Thank you, Mr. Limbaugh. You’re a great American patriot.
RUSH: Thank you very much, sir. Appreciate that.
CALLER: It’s great to talk to you, sir. An honor.
RUSH: You bet.
CALLER: I want to go back to the animal situation. The gentleman called in about animals and neutering and all that stuff. You know, when Michael Vick was caught and spent time in prison — which I thought was ridiculous — people out here on talk radio were calling and wanted him to get 20, 30 years. One lady wanted him to get the death penalty, of all things. You know, when Rae Carruth… You remember Rae Carruth. Rae Carruth, the wide receiver for the Carolina Panthers.
RUSH: I remember.
CALLER: Okay. He had his pregnant girlfriend murdered. He got 20 years. Not one person out here, not one, called in on the radio and said, ‘He should get the death penalty.’ We put way too much… You know, I don’t have the same fanatic love for animals a lot of people do. I like animals, I’ve had pets, but I don’t have that same fanatic love.
RUSH: Well, let me explain this to you. The reason why people have this reaction about Vick is because even pit bulls, people look at them and they’re the essence of innocence. The pit bulls weren’t bothering anybody until Vick took ’em over and made ’em what they are, and this wanton disregard for innocent life — totally innocent life — that’s part of the psychological explanation for it. But, look, that’s people’s ties to their animals. Deal with it.