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“No matter what happens tonight in the Hawkeye Cauci, I, El Rushbo, will be blamed.”

“Over Christmas, if I wanted to stay up until five o’clock in the morning watching movies or whatever, I did. And if I wanted to go in there and pop some popcorn at 3:30 in the morning, I did. It was bliss.”

“I love these gecko things; they’re all over the place. And they’re cute! They’re afraid of you, but they’re smart and they can see like crazy.”

“Just like that Congress and the president banned incandescent lightbulbs. Folks, this is death by a thousand little cuts. This is how liberty dies. Drip, drip, drip.”

“I say this with love and respect for all of you who support Huckabee, but how dare you compare Mike Huckabee to Ronald Reagan. That is simply intellectually vapid and it’s grasping at straws.”

“I have not spent a lifetime advocating conservative principles only to throw them away just to embrace a particular candidate.”

“Conservatism is a set of principles and ideals kind of like the Constitution: they don’t float, they don’t bend, they don’t shape, and you don’t rewrite them to fit the social mores of the day. Conservatism is what it is.”

“I am fit to be tied over this energy bill that bans the incandescent bulb in 2012. They never hurt a soul!”

“The most overpaid CEO cannot take my freedom away. The most overpaid CEO cannot raise my taxes. The most overpaid CEO cannot tell me where I can and cannot smoke my cigars. But politicians and lawyers can take away all those liberties.”

“That was not Carol Channing, by the way. That was indeed Susan Estrich.”

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