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“Certain things you can spin for the average American, but you can’t spin what gas costs, or what milk and eggs cost — or beer and cereal, if they’re in Rio Linda — or that their homes have lost value.”

“How many songs by Common do Obama and Holder have on their iPods? Anybody want to take a wild guess? I wonder if the iPod that Obama gave Queen Elizabeth had any Common tunes on it. Might.”

“So Osama’s son, Omar, is upset that we would kill an unarmed civilian like that instead of doing it the good old-fashioned way: hijacking an airplane and flying it into the hut that his father was living in.”

“Instead of going to El Paso and pushing for amnesty, shouldn’t Obama be going to Mississippi and all those other flooded states? I mean, he’s got the ability to lower the sea levels. Why does he not put it to use?”

“Obama’s hijacked John Wayne from us. Obama’s hijacked Bush. He’s gone from being best friends with flag-stomping domestic terrorist Bill Ayers to now being best friends and the leader of SEAL Team Six. This is simultaneously nauseating and hilarious to watch.”

“After the parade forms and the consensus has developed, Obama gets on the white horse and races to the front of the parade, taking credit for whatever the cause is, and that’s where he is now. It’s not just leading from behind — it’s leading the ignorant.”

“Obama feels good about himself, and when he feels good about himself, he doesn’t act like a cowboy — he acts like a drunken cowboy.”

“Obama is not cool and calm and collected. I think we have a cold guy here, a very young, immature, bitter, cold guy, whose classless arrogance has marked his two-plus years in office.”

“In addition to being an avid advocate of Reverend Wright, Common’s also a rapper and he has written poems and songs in support of cop killers. Now, people are asking, ‘Why would this guy be invited to an arts thing at the White House?’ That’s not the question. The question is, why wouldn’t he be?”

“What was my nightmare last night? I don’t know. What, Snerdley? No, no, no. It wasn’t about playing golf with Mitch Daniels or anything like that.”

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