RUSH: This is Buck in San Antonio, Texas. Hello, Buck, great to have you here.
CALLER: Yeah, Limbaugh getting chummy with Rummy. You know, those who want to rewrite history can’t escape reality. And the world is united on that. So let me tell you something, Mr. Nostradumus, here’s a prediction for you, Rummy’s book bombs. Here’s something else for you. Okay? Suicide is a solution. Do something for the country instead of doing something for yourself.
RUSH: Wait a second — hey, hey, Buck, is this really you?
CALLER: Hey, this is your castrati, remember me? I know you don’t like to take real questions, but today you do.
RUSH: No, no.
CALLER: Today — today you — (crosstalk)
RUSH: Is this the guy you spoke to? Is this Buck, though? Is this the guy that told you his name is Buck?
CALLER: That’s right, son.
RUSH: All right, so you — okay, you — (crosstalk)
CALLER: Suicide is a solution, Limbaugh.
RUSH: You are the guy that — (crosstalk) hang on — you are the guy that identified yourself as —
CALLER: Do it for the country.
RUSH: Why would you want to kill yourself? Things are not that bad, Buck. I can understand you’re already confused and I can understand you wanting to end it all, I can understand you looking out there and thinking things are bleak. A lot of us do, but for crying out loud, man, don’t run out there and kill yourself. It’s not gonna help anybody. Snerdley, why are you giving me a phone call from somebody that wants to commit suicide and sounds happy about it? Here we were on a roll here, and this guy — he’s a member of the New Castrati, obviously. (sigh) Buck, I know you’re teasing about it. In case you’re serious, you gotta be at least three stories up.
RUSH: All right, let me explain this call from that New Castrati guy, Buck, who wanted to go commit suicide. By the way, Buck, I need to include one more bit of information. You gotta be at least on the third floor, preferably higher, and then jump into an alley, not the streets, so that you don’t stall any traffic.
RUSH: There was one other thing. Oh, folks, I just want to… Poor old Buck. I don’t know that it’s happened, but it is certainly possible that we all may have probably paid for Buck’s sex-change operation via Obamacare. There are a number of things going on here that would lead to that poor, unfortunate circumstance. That’s why we dealt with it with as much compassion as we could.