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“Imagine how upset the left will be when Khadafy’s weapons of mass destruction are not found.”

“If Obama chooses foreign policy advisors by virtue of their books, then somebody should get Obama the book Foreign Policy for Idiots, so he can hire the guy. And while we’re at it, somebody get him the book Domestic Policy for Idiots, too.”

“We have a bunch of liberal Democrats demanding that Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize be withdrawn, and a bunch of leftists are saying, ‘Gosh, he’s no different than Bush.’ This is the final insult.”

“The purpose of Harvard, and the purpose of Yale, Princeton, and Brown, is to train people to do things the right way — meaning, the liberal right way.”

“Oh, there’s that woman with the green makeup again on Fox. I have got to turn this off or I’m going to do nothing but stare. Now everybody is turning on Fox to see what I’m talking about, rather than listening to me. All right, I’ll give you five seconds to look at her, then you come back.”

“Some have argued that we’re going in to Libya to save Obama’s face because he said two weeks ago that Khadafy has to go, and there was a problem: Khadafy didn’t go. And you don’t diss Obama.”

“Everybody thought that ‘women in power would make a more peaceful world’? I mean, how ridiculous is that? Ask any kid who had a mother about peace growing up, for crying out loud!”

“If Colonel Moammar Khadafy survives this, can we make him a general, please? It’s been years.”

“Somebody asked me, ‘Why don’t we know who these people in Libya are?’ Because CNN hasn’t identified them yet. Well, remember, Leon Panetta, who runs the CIA, told us he found out what was going on in Egypt by watching CNN. That, apparently, is the extent of our intel.”

“Sherry, can I ask you a question first? Do you have a litter box problem in there?”

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