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“It appears, ladies and gentlemen, that the Robert Byrds have come home to roost for the Democrats.”

“Look at this Los Angeles Times headline about the State of the Union: ‘No Apologies in Final State of Union.’ Say what you want, but Bush has accomplished more than Clinton ever did or Hillary ever will.”

“If any of you guys want a divorce out there, or you want to break up with your girlfriend, just say: ‘You’re unstable, stop being hysterical.’ She’ll go ballistic.”

“For those of you in the New York state NAGs who are all upset about Senator Kennedy’s endorsement of Obama, I think you just need totake Bill Clinton’s advice, and that is, ‘Put some ice on it.'”

“These robocalls that are going around… I guess they work, but when a computer starts talking to me, I just hang up.”

“There is a reason that senators do not get elected to the White House, and it’s because they eventually implode on the campaign trail. They just have the biggest egos.”

“The media, the liberals, the Democrats… it’s all the same: They want to relegate conservatism to irrelevancy and permanent, vast-minority status. Why else do you think they are endorsing Senator McCain?”

“Late-arriving show prep here, folks. Basically it’s a piece by another woman who’s mad at me. Care to join the club? It’s the nature of my existence.”

“If there’s no difference between the Republican nominee and the Democrat nominee this year — if they’re both liberals and the country is going to go to hell either way — then let it go to hell under the Democrat like it did under Jimmy Carter. It took a Jimmy Carter to give us a Reagan.”

“Don’t be silly: More people love me out there in California than you would know.”

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