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“So they say conservatives are dispiriting the Republicans. Well, then I guess I’m the indicted co-dispirator.”

“There’s this word again: ‘serious’. That’s the new ‘gravitas’. It also means boring and moderate. And it does not mean conservative. In fact, I have now figured it out. Somebody who’s conservative cannot simultaneously be serious, according to the new guidelines in Washington.”

“Now, ladies and gentlemen, they can try to convince me of a lot, but that Barack Obama is a ‘cowboy’? Ha! That almost might put me in a good mood.”

“The dirty little secret — and I know some of you think I overuse the phrase. Well, that’s tough, get used to it.”

“Now, here’s a guy with three wives living in a pigsty. One ought to be enough to keep it clean. Now, wait — no, no, no. Don’t do that to me! Do not look at me that way!”

“The Tea Party cannot be over and cannot be said to be irrelevant because the Tea Party’s the American people.”

“I don’t know where this notion comes from that we can’t win on social issues. Well, I do know where it comes from. From liberal Republicans with nag wives.”

“I’m just sick and tired of Democrat Party and the media picking our candidates. They picked McCain. They picked Dole. I’m tired of it.”

“I’ll tell you what I’ll do, folks. I will give up the social issues when the Democrats do. When the Democrats announce that they no longer care about killing babies in the womb, I’ll go public and say I don’t, either.”

“I wouldn’t drive an RV to prove anything to anybody. I’d drive an RV only if I liked it.”

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