Rush Limbaugh

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“I’m not saying warming isn’t happening, but I’ll damn well assert that man’s not responsible for it. We don’t have that kind of power.”

“Global warming has all the elements of a major religion. It has the Garden of Eden: the pristine planet. It has original sin: pollution. And it has redemption and salvation: driving a Prius.”

“People keep sending me e-mails: ‘You know, Rush, this sniffing of yours is becoming a habit.’ No, it’s not a habit; it’s only occurring because it’s necessary. But I will do my best to limit it to as few sniffles as possible.”

“Union membership is plummeting, and that’s very fascinating to me. I don’t mean to be critical of you union people out there because, as you well know, I like my kneecaps.”

“I know you’re probably sick and tired of hearing about Larry Craig, folks, but I have to just share this one thing with you. It’s a column in the Washington Post: ‘A Prayer for Larry Craig, by James McGreevey.’ Mike, you have the Happy Feet song handy?”

“I’m flattered beyond my ability to express it. I thank you so much, Elizabeth. You’re very sweet and very kind. All right, let’s take a brief break here so I can cry off mic.”

“Did you hear about this Nepalese state-run airline? They sacrificed two goats to appease the Hindu sky God after technical problems in one of its 757s. But who are we to be critical of things we just don’t understand? Those days are over for me; I’m Mr. Tolerant now.”

“What do we do with all of these flawed condoms from China? Well, we could pass them out to Mrs. Clinton for her next fundraiser. Didn’t Gary Aldrich say that they used those as Christmas tree ornaments at the White House?”

“Cookie has been touting this corn chowder something or other all day, so I broke down at the top of the hour and had a little cup of it here. It’s pretty good stuff — it’s like taco dip!”

“I don’t mind genuine criticism; I can take anything. In fact, I get more abuse out there than most public figures can ever hope to get if they want to.”


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