“First the Democrats tried to deny the military vote in Florida, and now they’re trying to disenfranchise some of their own delegates. You know, that bunch ought to change their name from the Democrat Party to the Aristocrat Party.”
“Pennsylvania is like a mini-United States: you have Philadelphia on the East Coast, Pittsburgh on the West Coast, and America in between.”
“How are you gonna hide it, pal? An SUV crashes into your house and knocks you off the toilet, and nobody’s going to see the evidence of this?”
“Work is no excuse. Operation Chaos is too important for you to say, ‘I wish I could listen more, but I can’t.’ ‘Can’t’ never did anything.”
“It is apparent to me — and probably to many of you — that Barack Obama is clueless. I don’t think he understands the basic elements of the US economy. How can he? He’s been listening to Jeremiah Wright for 20 years!”
“Oil is not evil. Oil is our friend. It is one of our best friends. It is one of our most valuable friends.”
“As an American, what, today, are you proud of in our country? Are you proud of our insurance industry? I bet not. Oh, but we are proud of the porn industry. We wait for the porn industry to decide whether the Blu-ray or HD DVD format war is going to be won.”
“If you want to have a 30,000-square-foot house and a big-ass swimming pool and a bunch of outdoor lights and you can afford it, end of story. You are not guilty.”
“I know John McCain’s funny. He’s crazy funny. Yeah, I know.”