RUSH: Let me tell a joke very quickly – – I’ve told it a couple times — to set this story up. God is watching the Oprah Winfrey Show, and he says, “You know, I have screwed up. The human race has just failed. It’s my worst creation. I’m going to end the world. I’m going to end it tomorrow.” So he calls journalists, reporters from various newspapers.
First up he calls the New York Times and says, “Hi, this is God.”
The reporter says, “I didn’t know you existed.”
“Well, I do, and I’m ending the world tomorrow, because you have made a mess. The human race has made a mess of everything.”
The New York Times guy says, “Can I have an exclusive on it?”
“No, I’m calling other newspapers. I want to get the word out. Humanity needs to prepare for the apocalypse.”
So the New York Times guy says, “Okay, thanks,” and starts writing up the story.
Then God calls USA Today, calls the Wall Street Journal and a couple of other places. The next day, the newspapers publish the story, with their headlines.
The New York Times headline: “God Says World to End Tomorrow. Details, Page C-4.”
The Wall Street Journal says: “God Says World to End Tomorrow; Markets to Close Early.”
USA Today’s headline: “God Calls; We’re Doomed.”
The Washington Post headline: “God Says World Ends Tomorrow; Women and Minorities Hardest Hit.”
Now, that is a joke those of us in the media tell because that is a template. Well, lo and behold, here’s a story from CNN, and all these Drive-Bys are the same. It’s a story about a poll. “Poll: Local Governments Ready for Disaster; Feds Not.” This is a perfect example of how lazy journalists use a poll for a story rather than actually doing reporting. Here’s the opening paragraph. “Most people say their families and local emergency agencies are ready for the next natural disaster but the federal government is not. Women and minorities are less confident on both counts.” I kid you not! Women and minorities, hardest hit. You can count on it in every time, just like there’s a template developing for the Republican debate last night. “How come there are no women and minorities on stage?” I guess you forgot about 2004. I guess the Democrats never get those kinds of questions because it’s always assumed that they’re fair and just and not discriminatory and all that. Anyway, this story…
I guess it’s too hard to investigate the government is actually ready for another disaster. This is an AP story, but it ran on CNN. It reports on yet another stupid poll by another stupid news organization which actually shows nothing but how stupid the public is in believing everything the Drive-By Media says. Why would you believe a poll of uninformed or ignorant people? What does it matter that a majority of Americans don’t think the federal government’s ready? Why not go ask the FEMA people? They’re the ones who would have to mobilize. So we’re to conclude, “Oh, my gosh, the government’s not ready! The majority of people don’t think so. They must know something I don’t.” It’s just trash, absolute trash journalism. Also, in the latter part of the story, “Democrats were also less confident than Republicans that their families, local emergency agencies, and Washington were ready for a disaster.” So? Who cares! We know that Democrats are idiots anyway on most things. It’s a story on what the American people think about who’s ready and who isn’t ready for the next disaster. Of course, this is just a story in a run-up to June 1st, when the next hurricane season starts. People are already mobilizing the news vans to head out there to the various beaches. They’re scanning the horizon, even though — well, I’ve been through this. It’s just, frankly, absurd. But “women and minorities are less confident” that the federal government’s ready for the next disaster. (Laughing) I look at this, and I have to laugh. I marvel at the lack of originality, creativity, and independent thinking that exists at all the levels of the Drive-By Media.