“One thing that we can say is that whoever Obama chooses as vice president, it is going to be someone who has and needs gravitas.”
“Ted Kennedy says that Mrs. Clinton is not fit to be vice president. Now, imagine if you are Hillary Clinton. I mean, when Ted Kennedy says you’re not fit, that must mean that you are lower than Chappaquiddick pond scum.”
“Liberalism is all about ignoring every failure of liberalism and asking instead for the good-hearted intentions to be credited.”
“If Obama flies into Cape Girardeau, there’s only one road out of the airport –and the name of that road is Rush H. Limbaugh, Jr. Drive, named after my father.”
“I’ve always said, if you want to go out and buy a hybrid, go ahead — just don’t think you’re saving the planet when you do it.”
“Obama said he’s going to campaign in 57 states, and it turns out that there are 57 Islamic states. So did Obama just ‘lose his bearings’, or was this a more telling slip? Ha, ha! Can’t wait ’til the Drive-Bys hear about this!”
“I haven’t taken the Rush Limbaugh tour — I am the tour! Well, my mother took the tour. I think she corrected anything they might have had wrong.”
“They say it’s going to take a miracle for Hillary to win, but, hey: We all believe in miracles, don’t we? Happens every day on Oprah!”
“The real question is, will Obama be another General David Dinkins? You know, another elitist, incompetent, smooth-talking liberal that all the white effete snobs happen to love simply because his election made them feel better about themselves?”
“You’ve lived to your present age filled with DDT and smoking? I love you, Judy.”
“Democrats, there is one reason Obama is your party’s nominee, and it’s not because he’s black — it’s because he is not Hillary Clinton.”
“Where would Mrs. Clinton have been without me? No, seriously. I’m not asking this from a standpoint of ego. Where would she have been without Operation Chaos? Who was it that came to her rescue, the damsel in distress? And didn’t cost her a dime!”
“Ladies and gentlemen, that church is Obama. He has been a member of that church for 20 years. Now, he may physically leave that church, but that church is in his heart and in his soul.”
“In 1968, we had the Chicago Seven. Here it is 2008, 40 years later, and we have the Obama Seven: Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Reverend Otis Moss, Father Michael Pfleger, William Ayers, Bernardine Dohrn, Tony Rezko, and, last but not least, the grave of the dead voter.”
“Bill Clinton doesn’t know how to campaign in the era of YouTube and MySpace, nor does Hillary. He hasn’t the slightest idea how to deal with the fact that what he says can be on the Internet within seconds.”
“Here’s the thing. When Mrs. Clinton portrayed herself as the victim, that’s when she started succeeding. When she became Nurse Ratched, it all went down the tubes. Now, that’s not what feminism taught us — to be victim.”
“Fathers need to be shown that they count, too. They need to be shown that they’re loved and appreciated, and, you know, men love beef. So why not give your dad the best beef you can get? Allen Brothers!”
“Do you think Father Pfleger’s speech last Sunday was just a coincidence? I mean, stop and think about how stupid that church must be — they take the cameras in there!”
“I think we all need to start thinking about what an Obama administration will do. They will seek permanent change throughout the bureaucracy. Everything’s going to be on the table. Nothing will be safe or secure. This will be one of the most radical, leftist administrations in this history of this country.”
“I mean, the growth of government started like crazy when women got the right to vote, which just proves it: Size does matter to them.”
“Quick: What do you call a government-owned private business? Fascism. Check out the New Deal for the roots to this.”
“My friends, I hate to tell you this, but many returning fighter jets simply dump their jet gas in the ocean — right down on Flipper and Willy the whale. Hee, hee; I just love tweaking the New Castrati.”
“The first time I met Tony Snow I said, ‘That’s the most perfect head of hair I have ever seen on anybody, except maybe for Glen Campbell back in his heyday.’ Well, Glen Campbell’s hair right now is not all that good, but back when he had his TV show it was enviable.”
“I don’t want to get into who’s a conservative and who isn’t, but let’s face it: If Bill Moyers wants you, there has to be some question.”
“According to Iranian official figures from a website that I found, unemployment in Iran is between eight and 10%, and the inflation rate recently surpassed 25%. This guy, Ahmadinejad, is Jimmy Carter 2. Obama would be Jimmy Carter 3.”
“Tony Snow was just a gentle soul. He was one of those rare people that had no airs. I mean, we all have an ego, but his was hard to detect — and he never, ever acted better than anybody in any way, shape, manner, or form.”
“Did you see where Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is coming back to the United States this fall for another United Nations General Assembly meeting? That’s just a cover — he’s coming in to campaign for Obama.”
“Yeah, here it is, LA Times: ‘Obama, McCain Agree on Many Once-Divisive Issues.’ Awwww, that’s a beautiful thing! Yes, they’re both centrists now.”
“I remember a particularly contentious moment when Tony said to the assembled reporters (I’m paraphrasing here): ‘Can we all just step back for a minute and take a moment to realize how fortunate we are? Look at where we come to work every day.’ There’s so much to learn from this man.”
“You don’t need another person, and don’t need another place. Feel free to constantly tune in to the EIB Network, and we will satisfy everything you want and then some.”
“The polls show that Reaganism is not dead. The Democrats have stolen it.”
“This guy is president of the United States. He is the most powerful man in the world now, and how he may reshape the country is what’s most important to me — not sitting around and telling myself, ‘Gee, what a good person I am because my country elected a black man!'”
“I keep hearing people say, ‘These buyoutsand these bailouts are just temporary, Rush. They’re going to roll these things back in the private sector.’ Oh, really? Government gives things up?”
“There’s only 2 to 3% of prime beef available to people in this country. Allen Brothers gets it, and I don’t want it wasted on a bunch of long-haired, maggot-infested, dope-smoking FM-types walking in to the One World Cafe.”
“Obama got elected because he was perceived as the number one tax cutter of the two candidates. Is that incompetence or ineptness on our side, or what? To lose the tax cut argument to a socialist!”
“The Drive-Bys are all in an uproar because last week I referred to Obama and Rahm Emanuel as ‘Chicago thugs’. Well, I’m going to be armed; I’m looking up all the times they called Bush and Cheney ‘thugs’. This one-way street stuff… it may silence other people, but it isn’t going to silence me.”
“When 40% of voters figure out that they can vote themselves a mortgage without having to pay anything for it, you’re not going to get them back.”
“I’ll tell you, these Drive-Bys, folks…. they were so orgasmic seeing Obama at the White House. I mean, Andrea Mitchell bobbed her head in such excitement I thought her wig was going to fall off.”
“I know there are people genuinely scared about where we’re headed, and they feel like this is a country they do not recognize anymore already. And I can relate. I understand how you feel, but we had our chance to stop this stuff.”
“I love the smell of soybeans, but when you eat one, it’s worse than eating a raw chestnut. You don’t want to do it.”
“One of the things I’m thinking of doing is inviting Obama to be on an episode of The Haney Project and I’ll play
blindfolded and still beat him.”
“How is that job search going for you? Where is the private sector growth? Obama is shutting down more and more of it everyday.”
“This so-called shakedown that Barton of Texas had to apologize for, we don’t have all the facts yet, but ‘shakedown’ would appear to be the correct term if BP surrendered $20 billion to the White House under duress.”
“To describe this arrangement with BP as ‘escrow’ is entirely improper, and you legal people know exactly what I mean. There’s no third party, here. The guy in charge of the money is Obama’s pay czar.”
“Where did I park my airplane when I went to this wedding? At an airport! What do you think, I flew into the front yard?”
“The shareholders, if they want — and a lot of them are British and American retirees — have the right to sue BP management for caving to the White House.”
“Presidents are just like small children. If they get away with something, they keep doing it.”
“FDR was on the presidential yacht throughout the Great Depression, throughout World War II. FDR used to go out on that yacht all the time.”
“I’m a stickler for words. Words are my business, and I study and marvel at the way people use them to manipulate, to inspire, to motivate, or to mischaracterize.”
“It appears to me the Chinese are running our stock market as well. The Chinese say something one way or the other, and the market goes up or down.”
“Did you see what the big weekend movie was? Jackass 3D was the number one movie over the weekend. No, it’s not a movie about the economy.”
“The first black president was a potential gold mine to the civil rights guys because at least half the country, theoretically, always disagrees with the president, and how about being able to call half the country racist? What’s that going to do for your fundraising?”
“What good is David Brooks? He knew a year ago substantively that Obama’s a cynic, arrogant, and filled with contempt, and yet he wrote of him in the exact opposite way.”
“After all this time, we’re the ones that everybody’s been waiting for. Not Obama. Not his idiotic, jackass policies. Us.”
“There can be no doubt now: Obama does not like this country as it was founded, and he is hell-bent on making this country pay the price he thinks it must pay for our imperialism or colonialism or whatever crimes we’ve committed as a nation since our founding.”
“The sad thing is how expensive this learning curve has been. Look at what it’s cost for so many people to finally wake up to see where liberalism will take this country — it’s taken trillion-dollar deficits.”
“The only way Obama will get anything he wants is either by having the Republicans cave or by going outside the Constitution. Folks, he is who he is. He is the most radical leftist ever elected to power in this country.”
“The real and present danger to America is not Obama. The real clear and present danger is that we have a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like Obama with the presidency.”
“Everybody’s trying to figure out: What happened to Maureen Dowd? What happened is that a guy she was in love with dumped her. Actually, he didn’t just dump her — he did it in a mean, mean way, and she hasn’t been the same since.”
“Let’s look at this whole thing as a toilet that’s been stopped up. The people don’t want to know who did it. They just want it flushed.”