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“Churches and golf courses both have people addressing the Lord frequently. People on golf courses talk to God constantly. I’m sure Obama’s doing the same thing.”

“The Republicans are simply sitting around waiting for the Democrats to be voted against. Their theory, I guess, is that when your opponent’s committing suicide, stand aside, but at some point, they’re going to have to stand for something.”

“Hank Haney dropping Tiger Woods for the opportunity to spend six months with me? I mean, who wouldn’t?”

“We don’t believe Obama when he says that he didn’t hear any of that incendiary language from Reverend Wright because we’re not that gullible. It’s no more complicated than that.”

“I don’t understand why people would be surprised that associating Islam with violence is worse than it was right after 9/11; I mean, their violence hasn’t exactly abated.”

“What kind of prizes do the North Koreans offer? Ha! A grass sandwich. Cockroach cocktails. Who knows what they give away on the North Korean Facebook page.”

“Given the way Obama’s been raised and educated, it’s clear this man does not believe in the concept of American exceptionalism, and if you don’t believe in that, you don’t believe in America.”

“Obama’s the smartest guy in the world, but we never saw the grades. He was on the Harvard Law Review, but we never saw anything he wrote. I mean, they created a character.”

“When you have somebody who advocates trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in Manhattan and giving him a two-year forum to bash America, it’s not a big stretch to see the same guy not having a problem with a mosque at Ground Zero.”

“Somebody just sent me an e-mail that’s pretty good: ‘Barack Obama is the parsley on the dinner plate of America.'”

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“I have something to say to Senator McConnell and Congressman Boehner: Don’t listen to President Obama. That’s not the way things get done in Washington.”

“Speaking of nut crackin’ time and football, what we’re hoping for on November 2nd is something tantamount to what the Oakland Raiders did to the Denver Broncos yesterday.”

“Obama running around and telling everybody that the Republicans want to undo his reforms is a positive message for the Republicans. I mean, undoing Obama’s reforms is what everybody wants!”

“Why in the world am I on Dee Dee Myers’ mind in Fairfield, Connecticut, at a forum on the 2010 midterms elections?”

“Anybody who thinks that Barack Obama’s going to moderate and become less radical does not understand the man, does not understand why he’s president, why he wanted to be president, and who’s running him.”

“I’m being dead serious here, not trying to be provocative: I don’t know why anybody who wants freedom and control over their own life would ever vote for a Democrat.”

“So here’s the Democrat governor of West Virginia: ‘I endorsed Obamacare, but, oh, sorry, I take it back. I didn’t know what was in it.’ Well, governor, we did. Bo Snerdley knew what was in it. And Brian Johnson, the EIB broadcast engineer? He knew what was in it.”

“You know, there were many, many people who thanked my mother for giving birth to me, and she was always very proud of that.”

“I’m fully convinced that the AP is trying to irritate me. I think they probably have a picture of me somewhere in their editors’ room, and they always say, ‘Let’s do a story that tweaks Limbaugh.'”

“If all you’re doing is praying for a victory, it ain’t enough. God helps people who help themselves.”

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“Obama can’t move to the center, and the House Democrats can’t move to the center, either. There isn’t any center in the Democrat Party. It doesn’t exist.”

“No president has ever been utterly rejected like this on substance, on the basis of policy. It wasn’t marketing that was the problem, and it wasn’t packaging or a lack of proper messaging. No, it had everything to do with what Obama stands for.”

“Boy, how times change, folks. I mean, just a few weeks ago it was Obama looking around for asses to kick, and now it’s his ass being kicked by unnamed Democrats in The Politico.”

“You know how 60 Minutes promoted their interview with Obama? As ‘Obama’s first postelection interview.’ Big whoop! It’s about his one millionth interview!”

“This last election was the same thing as the 1980 election getting rid of Carter and ushering in Reagan. The American people don’t want to sit and be led by somebody who thinks the country ought to be in decline.”

“You and I, we wear what fits. To hell with fashion! We don’t have time for that!”

“You Democrats who are holding out hope that Obama will connect with the American people… When are you going to understand that he thinks of himself as so far above the American people that a connection with them would be too big a step down for him?”

“Nothing but Twinkies, but I don’t even like them. Now, I am a sucker for Doritos, and that’s why we don’t have them in the house.”

“When you have independents moving in such droves against a sitting president — and the very same independents who elected him, too — it’s actually a very heartening thing to realize that a large segment of the American population is paying attention and taking notes.”

“There’s no such thing as a humbled Obama.”

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“The power in your life is in you, but when you become a ward of the state, the power in your life is the government.”

“I don’t care where you go or who you are, there’s nobody who’s going to care as much about you as you do. Nancy Pelosi doesn’t care about you one-tenth of 1% as much as you do, no matter what she says.”

“I say this with all humility: I’ll tell you when it’s time to panic. If you tune in and I’m not here for ten straight working days, you can panic.”

“Now, Paul Krugman is 57 years old, and in terms of the Mars mission, he may be shovel-ready.”

“Anybody with any common sense knows that Obamacare is a dead ringer for the British health care system, and that if it holds up, there’s only one way that it could ever be paid for, and that’s by health rationing.”

“For all the talk about compassion and love and tolerance, liberalism dehumanizes a society. In the eyes of liberal leaders, human beings are just pieces on a chessboard.”

“Look, not trying to be a cold shower, but I live in Literalville, and that is what gets me in trouble as much as anything else I do.”

“If you’re one of these Miss America candidates who think that we were unified after 9/11, then go listen to some of the sermons in Obama’s church right after it.”

“As you know, I have frustrated people in this audience: ‘Are we ever going to control the message, Rush? Are we ever going to seize the day where we define the message for the media?’ The answer is, ‘No.’ Get over it.”

“You can’t have bread without butter. How does that sound?”

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