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RUSH: This is Mary in Minneapolis. Nice to have you on the program. Welcome.

CALLER: Thank you. Hi. I’m kind of nervous right now, but I’d just like to say I’m so excited to be talking to you.

RUSH: Well, thank you very much, I appreciate and I understand that.

CALLER: Thank you. I’ll get right to my point, I guess.

RUSH: Let me tell you something, don’t be nervous. You have no reason to be nervous.

CALLER: I’m sorry —

RUSH: No, no, no, don’t apologize.

CALLER: I’m talking to the Rush Limbaugh right now on my cell phone.

RUSH: Are you married, do you have a boyfriend, something like that?

CALLER: I am married.

RUSH: Okay. Well, then imagine — this call is going to feel like, after it’s over, it’s going to feel like your husband had been there rubbing your back with a mink glove.

CALLER: Wow.

RUSH: And you’re going to want to have the opportunity to have this experience over and over. You’re going to be fine. Don’t be nervous, just project out there.

CALLER: Okay, thank you. Well, I couldn’t sleep last night, and I picked up your book, The Way Things Ought To Be. It was the first book you wrote, I know you know what it is, and also your audience knows, but I just wanted to give a plug for it that, it’s completely inspiring, and I just really enjoy it. I’ve only gotten through the fourth chapter, but —

RUSH: Well, you haven’t gotten to the good parts yet. Yeah. Well, that’s awfully nice of you to say. I really appreciate it. That book’s like 15 years old now.

CALLER: It is.

RUSH: But it’s timeless, it’s timeless, isn’t it, because it’s a book of principles.

CALLER: It is timeless, yes.

RUSH: What made you pick it up?

CALLER: Well, actually it was my husband. He was getting sick of me kicking around in bed, and he just said go get a book, and he was recommending different books, and I — he threw that one out there, and I said, all right, so I grabbed both of them. He’s got both of the books and he’s read them. And I love your show. I — I listen to your show on my own — I’m 25 years old and I listen to it since I was about 20, and my parents always listened to it before, so I am a Rush babe —

RUSH: You are a Rush baby, all right.

CALLER: Yes. And now I — I did have the ‘Rush Babe on Board’ that my husband got me, and I love that, too, but somehow in Minnesota it got either taken out of my car or I don’t know what happened; it disappeared. So —

RUSH: Those things, people steal them all the time, because they’d love to have them for themselves.

CALLER: Well, I can’t imagine anybody in your audience doing that, though. That’s the thing. I think it’s liberals that can’t stand to see it on my window.

RUSH: You know that could be, too. Well, I’ll tell you what, when this call is over, you hang on, and Mr. Snerdley will get the information necessary to send you a replacement.

CALLER: Oh, that’s so nice.

RUSH: Absolutely.

CALLER: Thank you.

RUSH: We can’t have that. You’ve got your Rush babe stolen, you’re obviously a Rush babe, you need to proclaim it, just need to lock the car.

CALLER: I know. I’m not very good at that. I’m in a suburb of Minneapolis. I need to get better at that.

RUSH: Is that where you were born and grew up?

CALLER: No, I was actually from Tucson originally, Arizona, and moved up here when I was about four and been here ever since.

RUSH: Well, congratulations. You’re very nice, and I appreciate the fact that your husband put the book in front of you, and your nice comments. It’s very sweet of you.

CALLER: Thank you. Just thank you for all you do, and I’m getting all my friends to listen to you. We adore you, all my family, we just think you’re great.

RUSH: Well, I appreciate that. I really do. Thanks so much.

CALLER: You’re welcome.

RUSH: Do you feel nervous now, Mary?

CALLER: I feel better.

RUSH: Yeah.

CALLER: I’m still very excited, though. So my heart’s beating very fast.

RUSH: (Laughing.)

CALLER: Have you ever had that feeling where you just knew you were supposed to do something and your heart just beats out of your chest because you know you’re supposed to do it, but you’re so nervous, but you do it anyways —

RUSH: Well, it used to, but I’m such a seasoned professional now that that kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me. But I know what you’re feeling. I used to — in preparing to host this show, I once called radio talk shows. And I know what it’s like being out there on hold, especially on this show, because you’re on hold for a long time here, most people are. So you call up, and you have this thing you want to say, and you’re reacting to something that you’ve heard, and as you’re on hold you’re listening. And you hear other things that you want to say, and you try to remember what it was you wanted to say, and you still don’t know when you’re coming up and then out of the blue the caller screen says, “Stand by you’re next,” oh, no, oh — I’ve been there. I know exactly — that’s why I try to calm all callers and just treat them as though we’re friends rather than this is something special. I know it is to you. And it is to me, too. But-

CALLER: And you know, one thing I was reading your story, it sounded like you were reading it to me, because I know your voice now.

RUSH: Yeah.

CALLER: And that was — that was very special, and it just made you even more human, in that you went through the same things I’m going through now, I’m a small business owner and just working my way up. It was just cool reading the intro of your life and your story, it’s just a great story, Rush, and I’m excited that I read it and find the book. So thank you.

RUSH: Well, you’re welcome. What’s your small business?

CALLER: We actually own like an online business, health and wellness. My husband and I do.

RUSH: Online business, health and well — so you are in shape?

CALLER: Yes.

RUSH: Well, good.

CALLER: Trying to be. Trying to stay in shape. We know people are after that, so —

RUSH: Yeah. Well, you know, as host, I sit here, I try to — when you’re on the phone and you talk to people that you don’t know what they look like, do you try to envision what they look like, do you associate a face with their voice?

CALLER: Yes.

RUSH: Yeah, well, I do that, too, I can’t help it, plus I’m a guy, which is part of being a guy when you’re talking to a girl on the phone, and you sounded like you’re in shape, your voice just has that characteristic.

CALLER: Wow, well, that’s good. Well, I’ve been told — are you familiar with who Ashley Judd is?

RUSH: Familiar with — oh, absolutely.

CALLER: That’s who I’ve been told I look like, so if that helps you anymore —

RUSH: No, no, no. No, no, no. That’s not the way it goes. The way it goes is, I wonder if Ashley Judd knows how much like Mary in Minneapolis she looks.

CALLER: Oh, that’s just great. You’re just wonderful.

RUSH: That’s how it goes — you bet. All right, Mary, havea great weekend, and thanks again so much. Hang on, now. We’ll get your address and so forth —

CALLER: I’ll do that. Thank you, Rush.

RUSH: Replacement ‘Rush Babe on Board’ sign. What was the first show I called? Was a show in Pittsburgh in — in 1972, hosted by a combo preacher, politician, activist type — was a Sunday night show. No, it was a political — I don’t know what it was, but it was a political call. I don’t remember what I said. Yeah, I put in my time. You cannot be a host until you’ve been a caller. Not a good one. You’ve gotta know what the callers are going through out there on hold, you gotta — empathy — I paid my dues. I’ve been where Mary is. Mary, thanks again, okay? She hung up. Oh, that’s right, she’s on hold, I’m sorry, she’s giving Mr. Snerdley her address so that we can send her a replacement Rush Babe — by the way, Snerdley, do not ask for her phone number. Do not. He has this habit. Especially after the Ashley Judd thing, Snerdley, hold off. You know what else I’m going to do? I’ve got — yes, I’m looking up there on the bookshelves. I have some leather-bound copies of second book, maybe the first one, too. I’m going to autograph one and send it out to her, so I’m going to need the address here we’ll have Cookie get it out this afternoon.

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