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“If John Edwards were to win and become the first female president, who would design his inaugural gown?”
“What does it say when Al-Qaeda-like terrorists all over the world are openly advocating and campaigning for Democrats? What does it say? Maybe to too many people it says, ‘Put Democrats in there and we’ll leave you alone,’ but that kind of na?vet? is dangerous.”
“Ann Coulter, if you’re out there listening to this show, listen to this headline from the New York Sun today: ‘Could John Edwards Become the First Woman President?’ Ha, ha!”
“Did you hear that two jurors have called for Libby to be pardoned? Both of them appeared last night on PMSNBC, and Chris Matthews and Howard Fineman were falling all over themselves. This one juror… they were just doing everything but licking her last night.”
“Somebody said, ‘Screw this three million people marching on Washington; buy the New York Times.’ It’s not for sale. Besides, even if I did do it, I’d have trouble upgrading to a new jet.”
“Hillary will not be the first female president; she’ll be something else. You could say that Hillary might be the first male president the Democrats have had in a while. With the testicle lockbox, she’s been accumulating them.”
“Apparently there’s even an eco-friendly adult website dedicated to naked vegetarians called ‘Veg Porn.’ Snerdley, that might be right up your ally.”
“I was talking with a friend the other night via instant message; I don’t talk on the phone because there’s always somebody on the other end. When you instant message, you can ignore them for ten minutes or so, leave the room and then respond if you want. It’s just easier.”
“Let me ask you a question: What did the Million Man March accomplish other than popularizing the number 19?”
“Whoever the Republican nominee is going to be, I just shudder to think what’s going to happen to the poor guy when the Clintons get hold of him. If you’re angry over what happened to Scooter Libby, you just get ready.”

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