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“How demeaning is it when your husband, Bill Clinton, has to go on TV to defend the fact that you’re a woman — and doesn’t quite pull it off?”

“One of the things Gordon Brown said was that ‘we should acknowledge the debt the world owes to the United States for its leadership in this fight against international terrorism.’ When I heard that, I swear I could just hear Nancy Pelosi’s face crack.”

“Folks, I have known cleavages as a callow and shallow youth. I have ogled cleavages; I will admit this. Yes, it’s true. I’ve even been distracted by cleavages.”

“Conservatism is tough. Conservatism takes a spine, whereas liberalism is the most gutless choice you can make. All you have to do is walk around, see some suffering and say, ‘Oh, ho, ho! Suffering! That is so terrible!'”

“I feel like Fred Sanford here: ‘It’s the big one, Elizabeth!’ Remember? Fred Sanford always thought he was having a heart attack. Ah, Redd Foxx: the lovable, irascible Redd Foxx.”

“Liberalism isn’t the mainstream. That’s why liberals come up with all this compassion and emotion stuff — to appeal to people’s feelings. To them, you can’t get caught up on the facts. Facts are too hard, facts are too cold!”

“Stop the tape! Stop the tape and re-cue this! Do you realize what you just heard? You just heard a Drive-By Media columnist say that the war in Iraq is part of the war on terror! What’s going on out there?”

“So that was John Edwards melting down Iowa. You know, Snerdley, you may have a point. I mean, that did sound like an ex-wife.”

“If you really want to outrage Hillary, forget these cleavage stories — just revive that picture that showed up in back in the nineties with Bill and her dancing to no music on a Caribbean beach in their swimwear. You remember that?”

“People have been asking me: ‘Rush, where’s Al Sharpton on this Michael Vick thing?’ Come on, folks. The Reverend Sharpton likes dogs, too.”

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“We can ‘root for America’ for ourselves, Mrs. Clinton. It doesn’t take a village to win a war. It takes the United States to win a war.”

“There’s this story here about a man in Alaska who was mauled by a grizzly bear last month and married his longtime girlfriend. He said, ‘This mauling has made me see my family in a different light — I’m going to go ahead and get married.’ What a weakling. What an absolute weakling.”

“I love stereotypical humor. Like, I had a Barbie doll once; you’d pull the string on her back and she’d say, ‘Math class is tough.'”

“Regardless whether you think it was a mistake to go to Iraq or not, the reality is that they are there — the terrorists. And we cannot lose to them. We just can’t. We’re the United States of America.It would be the biggest mistake in the world to lose.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold it, Steve. I’m like a woman when you get into numbers — I don’t follow them too easily.”

“‘A Kentucky man who was playing slot machines at the Caesars Indiana casino claims he sat on a chair soaked with urine.’ I did not know that Pat Leahy played the slots. Must not have had the Depends there.”

“Do you know how impatient and tired I’m getting of dealing with people on our side who are afraid of Hillary? I can’t stand it! The time to fear Hillary is after she wins. Right now it’s just time to prevent that.”

“One more thing about fear: I don’t mind people being afraid of me — I like that. AndI don’t mind people fearing our country on the battlefield — that’s good.”

“I am stunned, John, that you would take the occasion of appearing on this program to tell such a rank and filthy joke. I instituted the 40-second delay today to protect the audience from me, and it turns out I had to protect the audience from you.”

“I don’t get to listen to myself much. I mean, do you realize that you all listen to the number-one radio program in America? I never get to because I’m hosting it.”

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“Do we really want to live in a country where men cannot pick up men? We must think about the implications of this Larry Craig incident.”

“What was Larry Craig’s mistake? Larry Craig’s mistake was not tapping his foot in the Oval Office. If he was tapping his foot in the Oval Office, he’d still be in the Senate. But no, he had to go to a men’s room.”

“Where is Snerdley? We can’t start the program without the call screener! I can’t believe it! Oh, there you are. Well, don’t walk in the room and act mad at me because I pointed out you’re not there!”

“The more depraved and unique you are, the easier it is to make you a victim. Therefore, the greater the pervert, the more attractive you are to the Democrat Party and the American left.”

“A Democrat can do whatever he wants and there’s no problem whatsoever. Chris Dodd and Ted Kennedy can make the famous ‘waitress sandwiches’ at La Brasserie and it’s a rsum enhancement for them.”

“I have walked through malls in my day; not often, not recently, but I’ve done it. I’ll see a really strange-looking guy and an even stranger-looking woman and say, ‘How in the hell did this happen?'”

“I got home at about one o’clock Sunday afternoon and Punkin, my cat, was there waiting for me and then would not leave my side! I said, ‘This is so bad, Punkin, because I’m just going to be leaving again tomorrow.'”

“‘Dangerous Iraq Chemicals Found Stored at the United Nations in New York.’ I’ll tell you, folks, I am so confused — I feel like that poor, 18-year-old Miss South Carolina girl.”

“I can see by virtue of the callers that Snerdley is finding today that I’m on the losing side of this argument. I have failed as a communicator today, and I’m going to chalk this up to the fact that I’m fighting the ravages of the common cold.”

“I am rich, Dale, but I’m not going to send you a cigar because I don’t know your address — and I’m not going to ask you for it.”

You’re Missing Out on Thousands of Rush Quotes! Join Rush 24/7 NOW!

“We can ‘root for America’ for ourselves, Mrs. Clinton. It doesn’t take a village to win a war. It takes the United States to win a war.”

“There’s this story here about a man in Alaska who was mauled by a grizzly bear last month and married his longtime girlfriend. He said, ‘This mauling has made me see my family in a different light — I’m going to go ahead and get married.’ What a weakling. What an absolute weakling.”

“I love stereotypical humor. Like, I had a Barbie doll once; you’d pull the string on her back and she’d say, ‘Math class is tough.'”

“Regardless whether you think it was a mistake to go to Iraq or not, the reality is that they are there — the terrorists. And we cannot lose to them. We just can’t. We’re the United States of America.It would be the biggest mistake in the world to lose.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold it, Steve. I’m like a woman when you get into numbers — I don’t follow them too easily.”

“‘A Kentucky man who was playing slot machines at the Caesars Indiana casino claims he sat on a chair soaked with urine.’ I did not know that Pat Leahy played the slots. Must not have had the Depends there.”

“Do you know how impatient and tired I’m getting of dealing with people on our side who are afraid of Hillary? I can’t stand it! The time to fear Hillary is after she wins. Right now it’s just time to prevent that.”

“One more thing about fear: I don’t mind people being afraid of me — I like that. AndI don’t mind people fearing our country on the battlefield — that’s good.”

“I am stunned, John, that you would take the occasion of appearing on this program to tell such a rank and filthy joke. I instituted the 40-second delay today to protect the audience from me, and it turns out I had to protect the audience from you.”

“I don’t get to listen to myself much. I mean, do you realize that you all listen to the number-one radio program in America? I never get to because I’m hosting it.”

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