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“Barack Obama believes in policies that will return the nation’s wealth to its (quote, unquote) ‘rightful owners.'”

“The banking system needs some serious help, and while all this is going on, the White House has its chief of staff playing manipulative games with washed up talking heads targeting me on the taxpayer dime.”

“Hugo Chavez looks at us and says, ‘Wow! I can’t believe this! This is cool, what’s happening to the United States! They’re following in my footsteps!'”

“Presidents are not elected to remake the United States or its Constitution; they swear an oath to defend it and to protect it. However, Obama has already forgotten that.”

“There is no such thing as a profit-to-earnings ratio. It’s price-to-earnings ratio. Now, I don’t know if that was a rhetorical mistake of Obama’s or if he really doesn’t know. I mean, he’s admitted he doesn’t know much about the stock market. Why would he? It’s a citadel of capitalism.”

“Port St. Lucie, Florida: Rio Linda east. Well, if you go to McDonald’s there and they don’t have any Chicken McNuggets, you can call 911.”

“So Obama says he wants you to know he ‘hasn’t forgotten you’. Now, that, to me, is quite telling. That means that, in his mind, he is the savior. It also means that, in his mind, he believes that most Americans think he’s the savior. It’s very creepy.”

“We know who Obama’s friends and associates and mentors were, the people that influenced him. So given that, what made anybody think he was going to change?”

“Paul Begala said, ‘We admit a lot fewer people have heard of Reverend Wright than Rush Limbaugh.’ I wonder why that is? Could it be because the Drive-By Media — the butt boy media — just swept aside any reference?”

“Okay, you want the ‘political solution’ for today? Here it is, March the 5th, 2009: ‘Get the government out of everybody’s life.'”




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“Senator Kennedy is beloved for one reason: He used the government to take money from people that work and give it to people that don’t.”

“If all you do is use the government to take money away from people who work and give it to people who don’t, you are compassionate! You are caring, and you are virtuous, and you can go into La Brasserie in Washington with your buddy Chris Dodd and start having waitress sandwiches.”

“I’ve been looking at the health care bill, and I’ve found two things that will not be rationed: abortions and assisted suicides. Well, it’s not a laughing matter, but sometimes that’s all you can do.”

“These new unemployment projections ought to serve as an indictment on this administration; this is stunning information! To all of you who trusted Obama to help the economy: How’s that hope and change working for you?”

“Not one Obama initiative is working as intended, but yet it is — from his standpoint. He’s getting a bunch of chaos, which helps him set up the government as the great savior.”

“You know what? I actually think I do want them to put Ted Kennedy’s name on the health care bill. I mean, the DC elite just don’t get it. I think one of the easiest, sure-fire ways to defeat the bill is to put his name on it.”

“More and more people in this country, when they hear entitlement attitudes like that, say, ‘Screw you! Drop the beer and cable TV and pay for it yourself!'”

“You gotta be kidding me! Do they really think that blowing cigar smoke in a terrorist’s face is going to make him open up? You know how good cigar smoke smells? This is the theater of the absurd!”

“I knew that the Drive-Bys were all going to be listening to me yesterday because I knew they were hoping that I would step in it big time and use some inappropriate line about Kennedy. Believe me, I had plenty. But I did practice restraint.”

“Brand-new low for President Obama in the Gallup poll, just 50% approval. So I guess the no-news vacation is not working, just like hope and change is not working.”




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“For every one of you who is informed and enlightened and smart, there are the ignorant. Remember, they can make a difference, too — and when they do, it ain’t good.”

“This Arizona law is only 21 pages. This law will fit on your web browser. You do not need to hire a lawyer to read the law. It’s perfectly understandable. The media has made no effort to read it.”

“How about this for Highland Park High School in Illinois: Maybe they can take their kids to the border with Mexico so they can actually see what’s going on there.”

“Where is St. Louis getting the money to take these kids on a field trip to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? I mean, I had field trips to the local slaughterhouse which is about ten minutes away from the school.”

“There’s a continued effort on as many people’s part as possible to get their kids into private schools and away from the National Education Association, teachers union, and public schools.”

“Why would a 22-year-old naturalized citizen from Haiti run around and tell people that he’s a 16-year-old illegal immigrant from Haiti? Would somebody explain that to me?”

“Greece is being told to cut the government and health care, and Spain is saying they have to cut out the green energy crap to keep from becoming Greece!”

“Liberals want five- to seven-dollar-a-gallon gasoline. They want utility bills so high that you don’t use your utilities, because they want to ‘conserve,’ ostensibly. No, no, no! They want to control, and they premise all this on the fact that we Americans are destroying the planet.”

“We have some really brave Republicans in Arizona who are not backing down against a national and international onslaught against their law.”


“There are almost 19 states now that are preparing to constitutionally challenge the Obamacare law.”




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“We keep plowing through Barack ‘Hoover’ Obama’s Summer of Recovery, which will go on to September 21st. What comes next, the Fall of America?”

“Some of my monologues ought to end up becoming the equivalent of scientific research papers, peer-reviewed.”

“By the way, I checked: Obama has 12,386,642 people signed up on his Facebook page, but, of course, he’s giving away the store. I mean, Obama is giving away the country — no wonder he’s got 12 million suckers!”

“You have to ask yourself a question: What’s the purpose of the private sector — to support government? And if the answer is, ‘yes, it is,’ then you’re a Democrat.”

“I just got a note: ‘Limbaugh, if you really cared about America, you’d be giving away Chevy Volts on your Facebook page, not iPads.'”

“People ask: ‘Why do you keep doing this show?’ The answer is, A, I love it, B, retirement doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever, and C, these are dark times that need a little light shining on them.”

“Do you know why the left, and even some Republicans, will never take on the universities? Because universities are the factories that produce the ruling class.”

“The reason I’m a threat is because I didn’t even go to college. Well, I went one year — practically flunked speech and ballroom dance, and I remain proud of it.”

“These people that are clicking on the ‘like’ button onour Facebook page are the heart of America. It’s just such a warm experience to look randomly through some of the names and faces and stories of all of our Facebook friends.”

“That’s what they teach you in J school: the who, what, when, where, and why — and the answer to that is always, ‘Republicans suck’.”




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“Last I looked the world was filled with terrorists long before we did or did not build this recruitment center-mosque at Ground Zero.”

“You know, I go back and forth on this practically every day: Does Obama know what he’s doing? Is this all scientifically arranged and executed, or is he genuinely out of touch because of his own messianic complex, his own narcissism?”

“In that speech in Parma, Ohio, yesterday, Obama accused the Republicans of still being interested in his failure: ‘When I fail, they succeed.’ Wrong. When you fail, the country has a chance, Mr. President.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the country. What needs to be shaken up is Washington, what needs to be shaken up is the federal government. Power there needs to be diminished, dispersed, and returned to the people.”

“Anybody in this massive audience ever receive a phone call from the CDC asking whether or not you’re eating vegetables? And then how many and how often? And then if you’re eating fruit?”

“Bored? The Democrats and the rest of the media wish to Allah we were bored, but we’re not bored. We are revved up. Obama has stimulated the opposition. It’s called the Tea Party.”

“I should’ve known it: Jay Newton-Small, the hyphenated reporter from TIME Magazine, is a woman. That sort of makes the hyphenated last name a little bit more understandable.”

“Obama has never wanted to hear from the American people. You don’t have the ability, you don’t have the competence — there’s nothing Obama can learn from you. You have to learn from Obama. He knows what’s best for you.”

“They say that we need a mosque at the World Trade Center site to convince the Muslim world of our decency, goodness, openness, and so forth. Why? What don’t they know about western culture already?”

“I’m sure the pastor who plans on burning the Koran is curious as to why he hasn’t received his NEA grant.”

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