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“How did Hillary go from the Smartest Woman in the World ready to be coronated to somebody not even qualified to be a dogcatcher?”

“So I had just gotten home on Friday afternoon, not to have a care in the world. I fire up the computer, and I see that Operation Chaos has been sabotaged by the intended beneficiary. How many times have I told people: Don’t try this at home!”

“Is ‘stupid’ too harsh a word? Well, let me try it this way. Barack Obama is the first candidate of his generation to run for president who was educated totally in the indoctrination mills — known as public education and private universities.”

“The only other guy who could get away with saying this much stupid stuff like Barack Obama does is Charles Barkley.”

“Barack Obama does not respect this country; he sees nothing but its flaws. He has no concept of American exceptionalism because he’s never been taught about it. He just doesn’t like all 57 states.”

“What’s a guy like Barack Obama, who has invested in defeat of the US military in Iraq, who has criticized the effort, who says we cannot win, and who has waived the white flag of surrender, doing speaking to veterans on Memorial Day in the first place? It’s just a show!”

“When you accept the premise of the left and then try to tweak the end result, you fail to stand up for what you believe in — and you’ve just surrendered.”

“Why doubt me? We’re coming up on 20 years here on August 1st. I think, ladies and gentlemen, I have proven myself. Maybe not beyond doubt in all cases, but certainly I should be given the benefit of it at this point.”

“I sent an instant message to a friend Friday afternoon, wishing him and his family a happy Memorial Day weekend. The reply? ‘Who is McCain going to pick as VP?’ I wrote back: ‘It’s Memorial Day weekend! I don’t know, and I don’t care! Could you wish me a good weekend, too?'”

“John McCain’s got a pretty wife — and she’s an Anheuser-Busch distributor, and that ain’t bad.”

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“Where’s the damn saucer! The Senate is supposed to be the saucer that cools overheated stuff in the cup which comes from the House.”

“The Drive-Bys are all over the place talking about how wonderful Obama’s presser was. It was a bomb! It was a bomb of a press conference! You could definitely tell the difference between Obama on a prompter and Obama impromptu.”

“I think everybody out there, if you want a new house, a new kitchen, a new car, or even a new job, you need to contact the White House.”

“By the way, Julio, I have a suggestion for you, pal: McDonald’s also has a thing called a clown college — perhaps you could get a scholarship there.”

“The whole Obama press conference last night was hilarious. I thought I was listening to Fidel Castro! He went on for 13 minutes answering the first question and never answered it!”

“Both the Senate and House are proceeding at a breakneck speed on purpose with this Porkulus bill, and I’ll tell you why: so that fewer discoveries take place as to what’s really in it.”

“There is an all-out war on achievement in this country, and it’s being conducted by Barack Obama and the Democrat Party. The achievers are to be punished, and they are to learn that they are never to achieve again.”

“What am I? I am El Rushbo. And I have solutions. And one thing that we all have learned is you cannot go wrong with flowers.”

“Let’s not be too hard on our fellow citizens who showed up in Fort Myers today with their one opportunity to talk to the president of the United States and begged him for a car and a kitchen. I mean, something had to give them the idea that this is what his presidency was going to be about.”

“Behind every economic catastrophe you will find a powerful union.”

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“I’m going to tell you who Obama is in world history: Neville Chamberlain. Neville Chamberlain was as popular as Obama when he got back from visiting Hitler.”

“Obama’s saying that we need to get rid of our nuke weapons because we’re the only nation that has ever used them. I bet Putin is looking at Medvedev saying, ‘Can you believe this gift? This loco weed is trying to get rid of his nukes, and he thinks we’re going to get rid of them, too!'”

“Where do you see the average citizen driving around with a Segway? Maybe you see one at Whole Foods, but I don’t know — I don’t go to Whole Foods.”

“Obama actually said that the ‘Islamic faith has done so much over the centuries to shape the world, including my own country.’ Well, I think 9/11 did have a big shaping factor here. The twin towers are gone, the Pentagon had a hole in it, and 3,000 people are dead.”

“The US economy is going to recover despite all of this, and then when the recovery happens, guess what’s going to be given the credit? The stimulus bill! You wait, Snerdley. Don’t sit there and pooh-pooh what I’m saying. You know damn well better than to do that.”

“In less than 300 years, we have become the most powerful, the richest, the most generous, and most organized-for-good group of people in the history of the planet. How did this happen? With the same ‘shared ideals and values’ of Turkey, as Obama said? No.”

“President Obama views this nation as one too large that deserves to be cut down to size. He views himself as he views much of the people in the rest of the world: discriminated against, stomped on, and bullied by the United States of America.”

“You know, I’m not a pessimist, but I really have a problem with people getting false hopes about things. Like when John Edwardssaid if only we elect John Kerry, then Christopher Reeve will walk again. That was cruel.”

“How many people voted against Obama? Was it 55, 56 million people? I don’t think anything has changed to make those 55 or 56 million people say, ‘I made a mistake. This is a great guy. I really like what he’s doing to our economy. I really like how he’s over there in Europe apologizing for us at every stop he makes.'”

“I don’t care a rat’s rear end what people think of me. It’s amazingly liberating, but it’s not the easiest thing in the world to master.”

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