Rush Limbaugh

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“Who is it that gets all upset over stupid cartoons? Radical Muslims!”

“What must it be like to live the life you liberals lead — always suspecting everybody of doing something to screw you, when you are the ones doing the screwing to everybody else? Good grief! I’m close to profanity again here, and I can’t go there!”

“This war ‘diminishes’ our security? Hey, Lord Obama, how many attacks have there been on the United States since we went to Iraq and Afghanistan? And how many, sir, did you have anything to do with preventing?”

“How many votes did you make in the Senate that might have made it easier for terrorists to attack this country, Senator Obama? Not by design, don’t misunderstand me — I mean through full-fledged incompetence.”

“Be responsible. You’ll be happier. You’ll accomplish more, and you’re better than you think you can be. You’re far more qualified and capable than even you know.”

“That’s really an insult, that I’m a ‘limousine conservative’. Just so you people know, there is not a limousine out there that meets my standards. I wouldn’t be caught dead in one!”

“Wait –you have to dump your fuel before landing on an air carrier, and you do it at an altitude where it evaporates before it actually hits the ocean? So Flipper actually doesn’t get hurt? Damn it! Okay, that’s what I thought.”

“The leadership liberals are vicious Stalinists, but most liberals are just a bunch of dupes, living meaningless lives, wanting to matter, and buying into this notion that their stupid cell phone charger is destroying the planet.”

“At some point when our decisions go wrong, way too many of us look for relief from Washington: ‘The system screwed me and I need to have it made right.’ Well, maybe the system did screw you, but welcome to the club. Everybody gets screwed now and then.”

“He had his great moments, Sam Kinison did.”

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“It used to be as GM goes, so goes America. I guess it’s true! I guess we’re in the toilet.”

“They’re pulling a Geithner on Kathleen Sebelius: ‘She’s the only one! It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t paid her taxes! It doesn’t matter that she’s for every abortion that ever happened! We have to have her in there!'”

“Notice we never, ever hear about the ‘big tent’ that is the Democrat Party. No, we never hear about all the diversity of views that you can find in the Democrat Party. A bunch of pro-lifers in there, aren’t there? And they have a voice at the Democrat convention, no?”

“I checked the e-mail during the break: ‘Rush, are you sure your numbers are right on this GM deal?’ Yes. Yes, my friends, I am. What has just happened is that Don Obama has made Don Corleone look like Daffy Duck.”

“Do I know where my airplane is all the time? Damn straight I do! What kind of question is that?”

“I continue to be profoundly offended with this notion of Obama’s that we ‘sacrifice our values’ when we engage in acts to protect the country. The United States of America has been decent country. We are a decent people.”

“Everybody asking me, ‘What do you think is going on with Air Force One?’ I don’t know. Maybe they’re surveying the Statue of Liberty, thinking of replacing that statue with one of Obama in 2013. Who knows?”

“This is hilarious. Americans United for Change (which is a union thug group), has just put out a press release: ‘Specter decision the ultimate rejection of the Limbaugh-led party of no.’ Ha, ha! I love it!”

“I got a very frustrated e-mail from a friend of mine today: ‘Rush, could you explain to me why it is that all of these ‘learned’ intellectual conservatives seem so hell-bent on praising Obama as something unique?’ It’s very simple, folks, but I can’t use the real term because it requires the use of the F-word.”

“I love Senator Sessions. I love Senator Sessions as though I were an Alabaman.”

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“Why do the Russians have to spy on us? Obama will tell them anything they want to know.”

“Kagan said she didn’t know what progressivism meant. Now, imagine you are one of these zit-faced little irrelevant punks on the left-wing websites, and you’re just in hog heaven because they finally got one of your own up there, and then she claims to be ignorant about what progressivism means!”

“What is open to interpretation about ‘shall not be infringed’? Well, I know — it depends on the meaning of the word ‘shall’ or ‘infringed’ or what have you.”

“You know, isn’t it fascinating how liberals look at the Constitution and see things that aren’t there, such as a right to an abortion?”

“Oh! We stayed at a hotel in the Minneapolis area on Saturday night, and we were going through the mini-bar and found the ‘intimacy kit’. Do you know what the ‘intimacy kit’ is? I’ve never seen this thing before. I said to Kathryn, ‘Do not open that! Whatever you do, do not open it!'”

“Liberals have looked to the past and seen the failure of socialism, Marxism, and communism everywhere, and their response to it always was, ‘Well, the right people have never been in charge, but we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.’ And now, 18 months in, it’s still a disaster.”

“I hate what the liberals are doing to the country. I despise and I resent it deeply. But I am happy in one small way: that people, including those on the left, can now finally see the utter destruction that comes from unchecked liberalism.”

“Snerdley just said, ‘Why do you care about Apple? They don’t like you.’ I don’t care about Apple; I just love the product. You know, I’m sort of an evangel for this thing. I use Macs everywhere here in our office.”

“Look at Detroit. Look at any blue city run unchecked by liberals for how many years, and what do you see? Bulldozed houses. Former corporate office towers occupied by government workers. And some people still harbor this hope that Obama will turn it around, when the dirty little secret is, Obama has gotten precisely what he wanted.”

“Are you calling me a wuss, Snerdley? All right, damn straight. You better not be calling me a wuss.”

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“Elena Kagan: For crying out loud, folks, nobody’s even asked her any softball questions! I mean, that’s how bad it has been.”

“I’m going to defer the decision on Michael Steele to the genuine head of the Republican Party, General Colin Powell. It’s up to him. I wash my hands of this.”

“Ha! Day 15 of the Summer of Recovery. The good news is there are only 120 days ’til the November elections.”

“If you strip this bare, the Obama Justice Department will be suing the state of Arizona for implementing the federal government’s own law. So essentially, Obama ought to sue himself.”

“These people in the media are going insane over the fact it’s a hundred degrees in New York in July in the northeast. So? So what? ‘It’s global warming, Rush, don’t you know?’ Yeah, I know what they’re trying to do.”

“Here at the Limbaugh Institute there are no graduates, there are no degrees. The learning never stops.”

“If Mark Foley hadn’t happened, I’m not sure that Pelosi’s bunch woulda won control of the House.”

“Elena Kagan is not inconsequential. She’s about to get a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court where she will do incredible damage to this nation.”

“What ought to be patently obviously to people is that the stimulus was not about creating jobs. We’ve lost eight million jobs! We’ve lost nearly four million jobs since Obama signed the stimulus. It was never about creating jobs.”

“Reagan decided to starve the welfare state by creating deficits and spending, therefore making it impossible for the Democrats to continue spending, and it worked for a while, back when the Democrats cared about deficits and cared about spending.”

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