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“I feel like I’m in a James Bond movie. Ernst Stavro Blofeld has taken over the UN, the best spy that we have, me, is headed for the gulag, and Eric Holder holds the key.”

“If I went to the United Nations and made a speech and Moammar Khadafy praised it, I’d really question myself.”

“I would describe what Obama is doing to this country as basically a coup. It’s just frightening. He talks about a New World Order, and the New World Order is him. Obama is bigger than his country, bigger than the presidency — he is the world.”

“So there’s David Axelrod saying that the first obligation of the president is to keep the American people safe. No, the first obligation of this president is to make sure our enemies are not offended!”

“Israel, that poor, struggling little nation, surrounded by enemies, poses such a great threat to the innocent and harmless Palestinians — people who put bombs on their four-year-olds and send them into crowds to die for Allah. And yet Israel is the problem to Obama.”

“The purpose of a pre-interview is not to find out what you’d like to talk about;it’s to find out what irritates you. I know this is true, so I purposely acted like I was being goaded so that the Leno people will ask me things I want to be asked. You can’t trick old El Rushbo!”

“Moammar Khadafy also said that the swine flu is not a big threat, but that there is a coming fish flu. Now, this man is a kook. He is a literal freak. But here’s the thing: he is inspired by Barack Obama.”

“Early on in this program’s existence, I said that I thought Amy Carter was the most unattractive presidential daughter, and my mother called me that night: ‘You can’t say that! People are not going to take you seriously! Besides, you forgot about Margaret Truman.’ My mother was a natural comedian.”

“I’m going to say this as often as I have to for it to sink in: Barack Hussein Obama is a man who has made no contribution whatsoever that has furthered this nation’s advancement. Instead, he constantly tears down this country. He is disrespectful to the American people and all who have come before us.”

“The purpose of the Clinton Global Initiative is babes. They gather in New York — Clinton and his posse — have their meetings in the daytime, and then they hit the town.”

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“Democrats losing in New Jersey is like Stalin losing in Moscow. It’s like Castro losing in Cuba. It’s like Ted Kennedy losing in Massachusetts.”

“Last night may well have been Obama’s Waterloo. My first clue that the White House was really bugged by it was when they tried to tell everybody that Obama wasn’t watching the returns. Ha! What was he doing? Chain smoking? Shooting hoops?”

“For crying out loud, folks! Don’t anybody tell me that in a contest of what we got going on in this country right now — led by Barack Obama — that Sarah Palin wouldn’t be a welcome change!”

“I just expressed a little shock that our president will not accept an invitation to go to the anniversary of the falling of the Berlin Wall, and I got a lot of e-mails: ‘Rush, communists don’t celebrate their failures. Obama will be back when they rebuild the wall. He’ll autograph it.'”

“Folks, there are moments where even I think I’m great. I know you do every day, but I don’t have time to think about myself that way very often. But today is one of those days where I join you and agree with you: this has been a kick-butt show.”

“‘Not even Jesus Christ could save Corzine’? Bob Beckel, do you know how nuts you are? How in the world can you compare one visit from Jesus Christ with five visits from Obama?”

“Maureen Dowd has a column about me today in the New York Times… I don’t know: either Michael Douglas broke up with her again, or they raised taxes on bourbon. That’s the only thing I can think of to explain why she’s so snarky to me today.”

“This woman, Sarah Palin, is one hell of a strong woman. They have done everything in every venue of media — popular culture media, music, television, books — to destroy her reputation, and she’s still hanging in there.”

“I am very, very proud that three of the most vocal, principled, action-oriented, not-standing-down-but-standing-up-to-all-of-this-onslaught in our party are women: Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and Marsha Blackburn.”

“Conservatism is ascending. It was a large factor in both these guys being elected in Virginia andNew Jersey last night, and do not let anybody else tell you otherwise.”

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“You know what Harry Reid’s campaign slogan is? ‘Vote for me or my wife gets beat up.'”

“Does anybody doubt that Toyota has done their best to kowtow to the environmentalist wackos? So why the Spanish Inquisition? There’s only one thing that Toyota does wrong, and that is they don’t hire UAW workers and pay ’em an average salary of 73 grand, including benefits.”

“Time travel is now possible. If you want to see America’s future, book a flight to Greece.”

“An organization is accused of selling a defective product that unintentionally harms the people who buy the product; a product marketed and sold to keep millions of people safe. Are we talking about Toyotas or are we talking about Obama’s health care plan?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to step forward today and claim responsibility for Tony Kornheiser’s comments. How am I responsible for them? Well, I don’t know. But anything wrong that happens at ESPN is just eventually going to be my fault.”

“Snerdley, are you yelling at another caller? Remember, Snerdley, you’ve been suspended for this. Be polite.”

“Maybe ABC doesn’t have to lay anybody off. Maybe they should simply start charging the Democrats for the advertising they give them that they call news. I mean, do you realize how much free time ABC News gives the Democrats?”

“I spanked myself so hard that every element of my cochlear implant fell apart, and I now I have to put it back together.”

“Remember those blizzards that shut down Washington for three or four days? And they said nonessential people didn’t have to show up, and nobody showed up? To me, that was a tantamount admission that they’re all unessential.”

“Tony Kornheiser is so ugly he’d make a freight train take a dirt road, and yet he’s out there commenting on Hannah Storm.”

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“Obama ran for the presidency for the express purpose of, within the democratic process, overthrowing the American way of life.”

“Hugo Chavez has taken over two sugar mills. He’s a piker compared to Obama! Obama has taken over two of the largest companies in the world, General Motors and Chrysler.”

“David Letterman spent ten minutes making fun of Rahm Emanuel last night. This kind of stuff just doesn’t happen.”

“The sole intention of the Obama administration is to destroy private health insurance. Why else would they be trying to force insurance companies to take on preconditions?”

“What deadline has Obama met? Gitmo is still open. We’re still in Iraq. We’ve ramped it up in Afghanistan.”

“Rahm’s up there trying to twist arms and whatever other body parts he can get a hold of in these meetings with Democratson Capitol Hill, and March 18th is not possible because they don’t have the votes.”

“You House Democrats, you Bart Stupaks, you Blue Dogs, you yellow dogs, you lapdogs, you Chihuahuas, if President Obama would ambush Supreme Court justices at the State of the Union in their faces, what do you think he would do to you?”

“At some point there is going to be a frustration that overwhelms our young president. He’s going to make a mistake during an occasion when there is no prompter, and he is going to let fly his anger and his intent.”

“Ooh, Steppenwolf. Rock me, baby, rock me, baby, all day long. I know it’s all night long, it’s a family show.”

“Hillary’s biggest supporters when she ran were Jewish females. Do you think Hillary’s going to go in there and dump on the Israelis and praise the Palestinians if she’s going to run for president? Ain’t no way, folks.”

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“Why, if it’s a health care law, does Obamacare require 16,000 new IRS agents, not 16,000 new doctors? It’s because they’re going to get dollars from every one of us, including the uninsured.”

“This is what happens when you run in front of a mob and claim to be the leader: you have to deal with whatever the mob does. And right now, everything Obama wanted has happened, and the mob is getting bigger and more violent.”

“It’s Groundhog’s Day today, and I just want to let you know that I saw my shadow when I got up, which means that you are going to have to endure six more weeks of civility on this program.”

“The Hutch wants to come on the program on Friday for our annual discussion of the Super Bowl, and we’re also going to have a couple of Pittsburgh Steelers join us to discuss the game. This program knows no boundaries.”

“It doesn’t surprise me that Obama hears voices in Egypt but doesn’t hear the voices of the Tea Party. I know what he is. He’s a Saul Alinsky leftist radical.”

“Why don’t we send Obama over there to Egypt to be their president? And don’t tell me he can’t run for president of Egypt because he wasn’t born there. I don’t want to hear that.”

“The more people prosper, the less government they need, the less they need their elected officials. And it is hideous — it is heinous — what is being done in the name of progressives. They’re just making more poor people.”

“Everybody wants their life to have meaning. That’s why a certain segment of our population will do anything to be on Jerry Springer.”

“On one hand, we’ll tell ourselves we’re no different than a rat. On the other hand, we look at ourselves and claim that we have the ability to destroy the planet. We’re just a confused bunch of people, led occasionally by a bunch of sickos, really.”

“Story: ‘Lawmakers in South Dakota have prepared a bill that would require all adults to own guns.’ You can do it for health care, why not guns? I love it. Go for it.”

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