Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, today is a day in broadcast history that you will not forget. In a short while you’re about to join me in a secret that I’ve known for months, been working on for months, almost a full year. We had to preserve this secret for a full year. You’ll understand why when you find out what it is. If you are the kind of person that marks your calendar, mark down June 15th, 2011, in the annals of EIB Network history. You were there, and in fact you’re going to be a major part of it, and I’ll give you all the details in due course as the program unfolds right before your very eyes and ears.

There are some news things I want to get to here, ladies and gentlemen. First off, you remember the other day we started on the program with a story that emanated from the UK about Margaret Thatcher and Palin. Somebody in Thatcher’s camp said, “No, Thatcher’s not gonna meet with Palin, she’s nuts.” And I, El Rushbo, entertained this with a long discussion on this program. I know Margaret Thatcher and I’ve spent a lot of time with her, and that’s not who she is. Even if she felt that she wouldn’t say it and she wouldn’t allow any of her staff to say it. It was in the UK Guardian.

No, I’m not stringing ’em along, Snerdley. Would you stop this? It’s gonna happen in this hour. It’s athree-hour program, we got lots of stuff here to do. And folks, it’s not anything that you’re guessing. There’s no way you would guess this. It’s not anything that’s obvious. I mean some of the guesses have been Kathryn is pregnant. No. We’ve adopted a baby. No. That I’m gonna go into television, no. No. It’s not a political announcement. Well, no, it’s not another puppy. We are getting another puppy in August though, I can announce that. Yeah, we’re gonna get another sheepdog. We’re either gonna name it Camelot or Guinevere to go along with Abbey and Wellesley, but that’s not the announcement. No, they’re not gonna need any sheep soon. The three dogs are quite enough.


RUSH: Folks, as I’ve been alluding to (but not overdoing it) in recent days… Well, it’s not really been stringing people along. I had to give some advance notice, I couldn’t just spring this on people, but today is a day in broadcast history that I’m never gonna forget and I hope that you don’t, either. Time to reveal the secret. We’ve been working on this all by ourselves, almost for a year, pretty close to a year, and we’ve done a very good job of keeping this thing a secret, and we had to as you’ll soon understand why. It’s time to introduce to you, my friends, a new product — and there it is, for those of you watching on the Dittocam. It is tea. Two If by Tea is the brand name and there I am all of my glory on every bottle on the shrink wrap covering, every six-pack as Rush Revere.

The liberals are coming, folks!

The liberals are coming and it’s time to warn everybody and have a little fun at the same time, the product is called Two If by Tea. It’s an iced tea, a brand-new iced tea available on the market today. Unlike Apple, when we announce a product, it’s available that day. I thought about announcing it and saying, “Available this fall.” No! We announce it; it is available today. It’s not in stores. You know why it’s not in stores? Because that wouldn’t be fair. We couldn’t get it in every store so we want to make sure that it’s available online so that everybody has an equal opportunity to access it. There’s also a phone number you can call to get the tea. The website’s very simple. TwoIfByTea.com. “From tea to shining tea.” TwoIfByTea.com. You can also order it there.

It comes in 12-packs only. We have four flavors. Well, two flavors with variations on the flavors. We have Regular. This stuff, it tastes just like my mother used to make iced tea when I was growing up. It is the best iced tea I’ve ever tasted — and you people who have been with me for a long time know that tea is a big deal to me. This program has a long history with tea. I finally decided just do my own; stop messing around with it. So we have Regular Tea and Diet Tea, and we have Raspberry and Diet Raspberry. Folks, it is kick butt. This stuff is just delicious. $23.76 is the price per 12-pack. A portion of every bottle sold goes to our wonderful friends at the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation. Now, these people are the ones that dole out college scholarships to families of Marines killed in action.

And during major disasters like 9/11 and the Oklahoma City bombing, the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation extends assistance to members of law enforcement throughout federal government: Secret Service, ICE, you name it. Not just the Marines, all branches of the military during major, major disasters. We have been developing this for a while. I remember we started taste-testing in October. We gave these first two flavors our final blessing in January or February, and the last day I took off a couple of weeks ago on Wednesday was to go to our official bottler for the historic first bottling of Two If by Tea so that I could be there and see it happen. Now, we have the finest of everything in this tea. We have, ladies and gentlemen, the finest tea itself.

We have the finest ingredients picked by the finest pickers, selected by the finest selectors and produced by the best producers (that’s us) and we are doing this for the simple reason that we love tea and we wanted to share it with everybody else. The product is not gonna be in stores right away. It’s only gonna be availability online for the time being. That’s the best way that we could make if fair for everybody to experience it and start to enjoy Two If By Tea, was to make it available on a brand-new website to make orders. Again it’s TwoIfByTea.com. Now, there’s a phone number you can call if you’re not able to use a computer to order. The telephone number at our finest call center in the world is 866-662-1776. The price per 12-pack is $23.76.

It’s only sold in 12-packs, and there’s no returns. We’re not idiots. People ask, “Are you gonna have a return policy?” Folks, let me tell you something: You’re not gonna want to return this. You are gonna want to chug it, and you’re gonna regret you didn’t order more after you taste it — and then you’re gonna keep the bottles. We spared no expense. The labels are works of art. The shrink wrap is a work of art! You’re gonna take this shrink wrap off with great care to save it; you’re not gonna throw the bottles away. It’s the best label in the tea business. It’s the best shrink wrap to go along with the best tea. We have the best website; we got the best call center. We got the best of everything that’s associated with this — and, as a special bonus, shipping is free. We have included shipping in this. It’s el freebo.

Here are the bottles. That’s what an individual bottle looks like inside the shrink wrap. This happens to be the Original Sweet Tea flavor. That’s the blue label with me as Rush Revere, sounding the warning, “”The liberals are coming.” This is the Diet Raspberry. TwoIfByTea.com is the website, and that’s where our shop is, and that’s how you order it. The website name is the same as the product name: TwoIfByTea.com. There is a price, and, yes, there’s profit (that’s why we’re doing this), but a percentage of our profits go right to that charity: The Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation, and we’ll be updating it as we go on and telling you more about it, the process and how it all came to be and why, but we’re doing this ourselves. We do not have a corporate partner. We’re it.

In this economy, I, ladies and gentlemen, wanted to show something. I’ve already said, “When they give recessions, I choose not to participate.” I wanted to demonstrate that even in this economy, with an oppressive regime like the one we have standing in the way of economic growth that it can still happen with ambition and with ingenuity and with desire. So there you have it. That’s what we’ve been working on for nine months. It’s us. We have done it from the ground floor all the way up. There is not a corporate partner that you will find. TwoIfByTea.com or the telephone number: 866-662-1776. It’s sold as 12-packs only. You choose the flavor that you want. Shipping is three days. If you want express shipping you can get that — and if there’s shipping to Alaska and Hawaii, there’s a nominal charge for that. The shipping is free in the continental 48 (or 54, depending on how Obama counts). TwoIfByTea.com.


RUSH: It’s my product. I’m buying advertising from myself on this program. I am now one of my own sponsors and I’m paying full rate card. I’m paying full boat for this. And I’m telling you it is so good. I’m hesitant to tell you what I like best ’cause it will cause a run on that. What are you laughing at in there, Snerdley? Well, yeah, that’s what I’m saying, this is a date to mark down on the calendar. It’s very well gonna be a collector’s item. Well, send a 12-pack to the White House. It’s been fun and it’s been an education, too, and you know what I found? I found out what it’s like now to be a sponsor on my program and wait for the campaign to begin. We’ve created jobs here. We’ve saved jobs. And we set out to do that in the face of the obstacles put in front of all of us by Pharaoh Obama.


RUSH: If I may go back to Two If By Tea for a moment, because I’ve had a lot of people ask, there’s been a really few small number of people who have known about this. I haven’t told even my best friends about this simply because I know human nature. And this has been in the works for nine months, and if some giant corporate outfit found out we were doing this they coulda gotten one of these things up and running inside of a month or two. It took us nine months because we’re ground floor with this, did it all ourselves. And people say, “Why did you do it? You don’t need to do this. You’re not a tea expert.” I said, “Well, I happen to love tea.” Tea is relevant. It was fun.

But there’s another reason, folks, and it’s called, if I may be so bold, leadership. I’ve always said if they give a recession, I don’t participate, and I’ve had people respond to me in ways that are unfavorable. “Oh, yeah, well, easy for you to say.” Well, yeah, it is easy. It used to not be. What I wanted to demonstrate was that even with the obstacles that we face, like Obama out there, that jobs can be created and that growth or jobs can be saved, to use his vernacular, and a new product can be brought to market. Not everybody wants to take the risks involved, given the economic climate that exists right now. I fully understand that. And of course there’s a lot of risks associated with this and it was fun. Plus we have a great charitable beneficiary here, the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation.

But I’ve always told you, I love sharing my passions with people, and my life has been blessed. I wish everybody could learn at age eight what they want to do in their life like I did. I wish everybody could find that thing in life about which they’re most passionate and be paid for it rather than have it be their hobby. I’ve been very blessed, and at the same time it’s been fun to put actual political and economic policy beliefs into action, put them into play here, despite the obstacles. And those of you who are small businessmen, I’m not gonna bother you with all the regulation hoops we had to go through, all of this stuff. It was unreal the obstacles just to bring this to market. But we did it. We did it for the fun of it because we believed in it, and to see how it flies.


RUSH: Joe in Forestburgh, New York. Nice to have you on the EIB Network, sir. Hello.

CALLER: Hello, Rush. What a great pleasure it is. Snerdley said I could have two things. First I want to tell you, Rush, it took me 57 minutes by phone, Two If By Tea, I got six cases. There was a young lady by the name of Nikki on the phone. Oh, she was just wonderful.

RUSH: Oh, yeah, Nikki, oh, Nikki, yeah! (clapping)

CALLER: Also, I just want to tell you that you were —

RUSH: You met Nikki!

CALLER: Nikki on the phone —

RUSH: Oh, you lucky guy, you met Nikki. Oh, jeez, that’s good. I’m sure it was pleasurable.

CALLER: Yes. I just want to tell you, too, what I liked, your tea that is diet, zero calories, and that’s great, Rush, it is great.

RUSH: It is. Wait ’til you taste it. Wait ’til you taste it. People ask, “Are you embarrassed to talk about the tea?” No, I would be if it was bad, but it’s not. It is excellent. It is superb. I’m really proud. My parents, they would not believe my life. I wish they were still alive to see it. You bought six cases?

CALLER: I bought six, yes. And what she let me do is, I have the sister-in-law who’s having a birthday soon, and I said, “Happy birthday, from Rush.” She’s gonna get two cases.

RUSH: Oh, that’s awesome.

CALLER: And I got four for my wife.

RUSH: Oh, that’s excellent.

CALLER: Now, my second thing —

RUSH: What flavor distribution did you order?

CALLER: Okay, I got the regular diet tea and raspberry diet tea for my sister-in-law, and then for the wife I got two diet teas, original, and two raspberry diets.

RUSH: Again, it took you 57 minutes on the phone?

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: I can’t thank you enough. Plus you got the added bonus of talking to Nikki. Whoa.

CALLER: Plus I had you on the radio at the same time, Rush. Can’t lose.

RUSH: Well, we multitask.


RUSH: We conservatives, we multitask. Fifty-seven minutes, look, I can’t thank you enough, and you’re going to love it. You really are.


RUSH: If you’ve been a regular listenerof this program for a long time you know that tea has been a big part of the program. I just decided to do my own, for a host of reasons. First, I wanted to follow a passion. Second thing, I wanted to illustrate we can start a product, start a business, and bring a product to market even with the obstacles Obama has put in front of us. I’m not guaranteed making a profit on this.

Nobody is guaranteed that. But we’re making a first class effort, and we’ve got a great charitable partner here. A portion of every bottle sold goes to the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation. They provide scholarships to the children of Marines killed in action — and, in certain instances, members of other services: the Air Force, the Army, Secret Service, depending if it’s a major event like the Oklahoma City bombing or 9/11. It’s a great charity there that we have associated with, but we have the finest of everything here, folks. We have the finest ingredients. We have the finest pickers picking the best raspberries, the best of everything that goes into it. The finest selectors. Everything about this is the best: From the packaging to the labeling, to the tea, to the content, to the shipping.

Everything about it is top drawer, and we announced it today, and there’s a huge demand. You just heard the guy call and he was on hold for 57 minutes at our call center, but he got to talk to Nikki! He was ecstatic he got to talk to Nikki. The website traffic ebbs and flows, comes and goes, but if you do go there, it’s TwoIfByTea.com. It explains everything, too, by the way: Why we’re doing this, the history, the lesson of Paul Revere. It’s amazing this thing came up three weeks ago. You know how hard it was for me to not say anything about this when this Palin Paul Revere stuff hit? I’m sitting here chomping, “Well, hell, just stand by three weeks I’ll tell you everything you need to know about it plus show you how to drink tea at the same time!”


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