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“I’m surprised Obama doesn’t think Easter is the day a big rabbit comes out of his hole and, depending whether he sees his shadow, tells us if we’re in for a long winter.”

“The price of gasoline per gallon finally hit five dollars in Washington, but big whoop. How many politicians there will even notice? How many of them drive their own cars or pump their own gas or even pay for their own gas?”

“Obama has a question-and-answer session today on Facebook at 4:45. I swear, he never talks to adults anymore. There must be some kind of fancy psychological name for such a syndrome… Perhaps you could call it ‘cowardice’.”

“You know what Obama actually said? Obama went to Standard & Poor’s and said, ‘You have to understand, politicians have unique methods of dealing with high deficits.’ I hope they laughed at him.”

“So Paul Ryan does the heavy lifting; he comes up with a budget plan to save the country, and then what does Obama do? He attacks him for doing it. Yeah, that is real leadership, folks.”

“I was joking back during TARP: ‘Well, the reason Paulson’s doing this is because he has to make sure that his buddies don’t lose their vacation homes in the Hamptons.’ And folks, that was damn near close to right.”

“Barack Hussein Obama, the Pharaoh Unlimited, peace be upon him, praise be his name, has exempted seniors from further Medicare cuts. Another waiver from the regime, another tacit admission that Obamacare hurts the very people it is intended to assist.”

“The IPAB, Independent Payment Advisory Board. You’re going to be hearing a lot more about the IPAB in the days and weeks ahead, and I want to tell you today, April the 20th, what the IPAB is: The IPAB is the death panels. That’s all you need to know. Don’t doubt me.”

“I had my syndication partners telling me in private meetings, ‘Your audience loves Perot. You need to be positioning yourself as leading the Perot juggernaut.’ I said, ‘I’m sorry, but I’m not a populist. I’m a conservative.'”

“Wiffle Ball? That’s dangerous? It’s plastic, for crying out loud! You couldn’t hurt anybody with a Wiffle Ball if you tried to!”

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