Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: This is the first broadcast week in April. Let’s go back a month. The month of March in the United States opened with the left convinced that they were finally going to drive me off the air once and for all. By the end of the month I’m still on the air with a higher audience, seven new advertisers to replace the five — actually, less than five, that abandoned us and hurt themselves. And in that month Al Gore as fired Keith Olbermann, thrown him off the air and replaced him with Client No. 9. Eliot Spitzer’s taking over for Olbermann and his 56 viewers. (interruption) How does who do what? It’s an audience of 56 people. What do you mean, how does Spitzer do it? How does Olbermann keep getting hired? That’s the question.

If Olbermann were anything other than an insane lunatic leftist — which is a resume enhancement — he wouldn’t get hired. So Algore, Nobel Peace Prize winner the year I was nominated: Olbermann’s out. Some of the stories that are out, Olbermann refused to let his limousine drivers talk to him. They’re beneath him. It’s hilarious. Wouldn’t show up for work. Missed 19 out of 41 days because he said the lights would go off. The technical requirements were not met. It was a network on the cheap and he’s gonna sue ’em.

Anyway, the month of March begins and they think they got me, and what happens is that Olbermann’s gone and Client No. 9 is in his place at Algore’s network. And, by the way, Eliot Spitzer, great defender of women’s rights. Great, great defender of women’s rights, Client No. 9, Eliot Spitzer. Not exactly how they thought it was gonna turn out.

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