Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, you know, Father’s Day is right around the corner. It’s not like Mother’s Day. Father’s Day, if there’s ever a perfunctory gift-giving holiday, this is it. Men are capable of getting themselves what they want. That’s where you start. So it’s not a joke to say that dads get neckties or a pair of socks or underwear. These things do happen. If you are trying to think of the perfect gift, if you’re trying to take it seriously, Father’s Day, and the usual gift ideas just don’t cut it, I have an idea for you.

If your father or the father of your children is a golfer, then we, at Two If By Tea, have the perfect gift. It’s a true golfer’s nirvana. Really excited about this. Our latest and greatest Two If By Tea sweepstakes begins right now, and you know the drill, very simple. You just go to TwoIfByTea.com and shop. That’s all you do. And when you place an order, now through Thursday at 11:59 p.m. Pacific time, you’re automatically entered to win. And, by the way, we’re cutting the price on the bottles of tea for this special sweepstakes, and, as an added bonus, and I do not exaggerate, it’s the best bottled tea out there. It is just delicious.

I had a guy, he came to the studio yesterday to meet me, and he wanted a bottle of tea. I gave it to him and I was all excited to find out what he thought about it. He took a couple swigs, put it down, “It’s not bad, it’s not bad.” He started talking, he kept sipping it. He stopped me while I was in the middle of making a brilliant point, he stopped, said, “Well, this is good.” I said, “Well, yeah, I told you.” “No, I mean it’s really good,” as though he was surprised. It’s really good. And he looked at the label, and said, “Wait a minute, it’s diet.” I said, “Yeah?” “I don’t drink diet. I wouldn’t even have known if it didn’t say diet.”

The whole conversation was stopped for this guy to incredulously tell me how much he liked the tea, which made me feel great, and it was just another bit of evidence. Everybody who tastes it thinks it’s the best they’ve ever tasted. That’s an added bonus. This sweepstakes, we have 12 total winners this time, and two of the 12 will be grand prize winners. Now, listen carefully. These are the details. Two grand prize winners will each receive a five-star expense paid trip to Palm Beach for four golfers. You will play a round, not just at any course. You are going to play at the private course rated number one in the state, Trump International. We set it up with the Trumpster. The Trumpster has made his course available to us here in Palm Beach, happily so. Lunch at the Trumpster’s course when you finish.

You won’t believe Trump’s course. You will not believe the clubhouse. The moment you drive through the gates of this place, you will be blown away. It is magnificent. You will know you’re in a special place. The clubhouse is five diamond. The greens are immaculate. The course is as hard or as easy as you want to make it. There are 27 holes. They have a replica of number 17 at Sawgrass, the island green. It’s a great place to spend the day playing golf. Every foursome is gonna be flown to Palm Beach at our expense, we’ll take care of all the details. Accommodations at a luxurious, well known Palm Beach property, dinner at one of the best steakhouses in town. It’s where Kathryn and I go a lot. Lunch at the Trump clubhouse. And you’re gonna get an EIB golf shirt, a hat, sleeve of balls that I will personally sign. And you’ll have one year to figure out when you can make it. You want to come to Palm Beach in the heart of wintertime when it’s cold, that’s when you can come. Whenever you can make it is whenever we’ll set it up.

You have a year to make it happen. If you happen to choose a date when I’m in town, who knows. I may stop by and beat some balls with you on the range before you go out. You never know. I might even show you some of my Hank Haney tips. And that, too, will be gratis. That, too, will be free of charge. In addition to two grand prize winners, ten first-place winners. They’ll also get some top-notch prizes, a brand-new driver and a golf bag. In honor of Founding Father’s Day, Rush Revere here, Founding Father’s Day, we have reduced the price of the tea for a limited time. So you have no reason not to give this a shot. Father’s Day, summertime, barbecues, tea, it’s all put together and a chance to win a trip for four to Palm Beach for golf. No reason to not go to TwoIfByTea.com right now through Thursday, 11:59 p.m. Pacific and shop. It’s all you have to do.

Folks, this is not dinner with Obama with Sarah Jessica Parker and what’s-her-face, Helmet Head, what’s her name? Anna Wintour. This is not a dinner party where they really wish you weren’t showing up. And you’re not gonna end up on a mailing list, and nobody’s gonna hit you up for campaign contributions after you enter. This is strictly the best of the best. The best tea, the best golf, the best course here in the state of Florida, and you’re automatically entered to win the golfers experience of a lifetime. Now, these prizes can be re-gifted, too. Never forget that. If you’d rather give your winnings to a military family or anybody else, that’s completely up to you. All the official rules are posted at TwoIfByTea.com. Never forget we sponsor the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation. It’s all at TwoIfByTea.com.

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