RUSH: It’s the fastest three hours in media. It’s Rush Limbaugh, the Excellence in Broadcasting Network and the distinguished, prestigious, one-and-only Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies, and it’s Friday, and let’s hit it.
JOHNNY DONOVAN: And now, from sunny South Florida, it’s Open Line Friday!
RUSH: And the telephone number is 800… Oh, no! I knew it. I knew it couldn’t last.
HIGHLY OVERRATED STAFF: (singing the happy birthday song)
RUSH: I just knew it. Ah, jeez. I was hoping to escape it. In the middle of the show open, the highly overrated staff walks in with a birthday cake, and those of you watching on the Dittocam can see it. It’s a gorgeous cake. It’s an absolutely beautiful cake. It’s a white cake. Is it what we call “white trash cake”?
DAWN: Yep, that’s white trash cake.
RUSH: Look, three of the candles went out.
DAWN: Look what it says. “Over the Hill.” That’s what the candles spell.
RUSH: I can’t hear what you’re saying. Look what it says is “Happy Birthday, Rush. Happy Birthday, Rush.” Is there a card or did you forget to get the card? HR’s gotta get… Oh, the candles say, “Over the Hill.” Oh, that’s very affectionate.
HR: That wasn’t my idea.
RUSH: Really, really. Melting candles, “Over the Hill” in candles. Wow. Is there a message there? A card? My birthday is tomorrow, and they know I despise this kind of attention and having a big deal made out of it because, other than in a Third World country or New York City, the only thing about a birthday is that you made it through another year. Everybody has one. There’s no great accomplishment in a birthday.
It always has embarrassed me. (blowing candles) There goes the wish. I got ’em all but one candle. Okay, thank you very much. I really appreciate it. I’m 62, 62 tomorrow. Actually, at seven something a.m. Very close to seven a.m. is when I was born. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen, folks. My birthday is on a Saturday, and we’re not here on Saturday, so I thought maybe they’d get the message and not do it. What it means is they want the cake. They want to have a taste of cake.
Anyway, thank you all very much.