RUSH: The Super Bowl. Forget football. The Super Bowl’s not about football. You know, I had to be reminded last night that the game is Sunday. I am not kidding. Just as I was not kidding when I told you a week ago that I was shocked when I saw that people in the Northeast were still without electricity and heat because of Hurricane Sandy. I genuinely thought that had been dealt with, because I hadn’t seen any media reports about it. I don’t want to run through the whole thing, but they’d had the concert. I was not kidding about that. By the way, Staten Island has some sort of tent city that had been constructed to help deal with recovery.
It blew down. Something happened. It’s a mess. I didn’t know that, either. I thought it had all been fixed ’cause of what Governor Christie and Governor Cuomo said, and what Obama said and what the media hadn’t said. I thought it was all fixed. Last night, I kid you not, I had a momentary lapse that the Super Bowl is Sunday. It had slipped my mind. Now, the only thing remarkable about that is that’s the first time in my life that on the Thursday night before the Super Bowl, I haven’t been thinking about it. The Super Bowl isn’t about the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl is not about football. The Super Bowl’s about gay rights. I had a little story here about this Culliver guy of the Fort’iners. It turns out he’s just one of many. We’ve gotta do a Gay Community Update on the Super Bowl when we get back.
RUSH: Dadelut dadelut dadelut dadelut dadelut dadelut dadelut! (playing You Don’t Own Me) It’s time for a Gay Community Update, and it’s about the Super Bowl, folks. The Super Bowl’s about gay rights this season, more so than it is about the game. Here’s Klaus Nomi with the song…
NOMI: You don’t Nomi! I’m not just one of your many toys.
RUSH: This is our official update theme.
NOMI: You don’t own me.
RUSH: Klaus Nomi, the late great.
NOMI: Don’t say I cant go with other boys! Don’t tell me what to do, and don’t tell me what to say. Please, when I go out with you, don’t put me on display. Because you don’t Nomi. Don’t try to change me in any way!
RUSH: I wouldn’t think of it. No way!
NOMI: You don’t Nomi. Don’t tie me down ’cause I never stay!
RUSH: Oh, you tough guy, you!
NOMI: And don’t tell me what to say.
RUSH: You must play for the Ravens!
NOMI: Don’t tell me what to do. Just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you. I’m young, and I like to be young! I’m freeeee and I want to be free, to live my life the way I want, to say and do whatever I please!
RUSH: Stop the song.
(song cuts off)
RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, we must interrupt our Gay Update Theme Song with a sound bite, the first of our many bits of news here about the gay community and the Super Bowl. Chris Culliver, cornerback of the Fort’iners, got into big trouble by saying he didn’t want any of that “sweet stuff” in his locker room. He didn’t want gays around. He said it wouldn’t happen in the NFL. No gay players. None of that. He went out there and apologized, and the coach said, “That’s not who he is,” and he said that’s not who he is. So everything’s okay now, but he wasn’t finished. Yesterday at the Superdome in New Orleans he spoke with reporters again about his remarks about gays, and the reporter said, “Chris, what do you want people to know about you at this stage?”
CULLIVER: I don’t have no differences in other sexualities, and, uhhh… You know, just — just like that, and that’s… Like I said, that’s not what I — what I feel in my heart, and — and I treat everyone equal in any type of way. So, uhh, it’s not how I feel.
RUSH: Yeah, there you have it. Chris Culliver of the San Francisco Fort’iners, quote, “I don’t have no differences in other sexualities. … Like I said, that’s not what I … feel in my heart, and … I treat everyone equal in any type of way. So that’s not how I feel.” (song instrumental picks up) Again: “I don’t have no differences in other sexualities.” It’s perfectly clear now. He’s erased any doubt, and there’s nobody with any questions. So everything’s cool; everything’s hunky-dory. We can get back to who’s gay on whatever team now. That’s what’s important. Now we resume our Gay Community Update Theme Song. (song instramental swells) This is the late great Klaus Nomi with the vocal portrayal. You know, Lesley Gore did this song originally.
I don’t know why 49er fans care about gay issues, but they do, so we talk about it.
NOMI: You don’t Nomi!
RUSH: Sing it, Klaus!
NOMI: I’m not just one of your many toys!
RUSH: He’s gonna really rev it up here, folks.
NOMI: Don’t say I cant go with other boys!
RUSH: Okay, get ready. Buckle up. Here we go.
NOMI: Don’t tell me what to do, and don’t tell me what to say. Please, when I go out with you, don’t put me on display.
RUSH: Okay, now zip up.
NOMI: I’m young, and I like to be young! I’m freeeee and I want to be free, to live my life the way I want, to say and do whatever I please!
RUSH: Klaus Nomi, let’s hear it for him! (clapping) Yes siree, Bob! From the Grooveyard of Forgotten Favorites, that’s Klaus Nomi, everybody. (clapping) Our Gay Community Update Theme. You can unzip now. That’s it. That’s the crescendo. That’s the high point. We dedicate, of course, the song to Chris Culliver of the San Francisco Fort’iners. We have time to squeeze in one more bit of news. Terrell Suggs of the Baltimore Ravens was asked if he would have a problem with a gay teammate. Terrell Suggs said, “Absolutely not. No, we wouldn’t have a problem with it. We don’t care. Our biggest thing in the locker room is just to have fun, stay loose. We don’t really care too much about that. We’re a football team. I said it yesterday: Everybody deserves a certain amount of privacy. Who cares?”
So the Ravens are on board with it.
RUSH: We have one other item here for our gay community update, which is actually not Super Bowl news, but it is football news. The mastermind of the Manti Te’o girlfriend hoax, this Tuiasosopo guy, this from the New York Post, not TMZ. “The mastermind of the Manti TeÂ’o girlfriend hoax believes he needs to ‘recover from homosexuality.'”
I didn’t know that that was something you needed to recover from, but this guy, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, confessed to Dr. Phil that he created Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend because he’d fallen in love with Manti Te’o himself. Yes, Tuiasosopo fell in love with Manti Te’o, but he was embarrassed to go tell Manti that he, a guy, had fallen in love with him. So he created the fake girlfriend, and then got involved in this vicarious relationship, although it was real for him.
Dr. Phil asked Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, “Were you in love with him?” And Tuiasosopo, who was crying, said, “I mean, yeah. It’s very shameful and very painful to even talk about, [but] I grew feelings, I grew emotions that [I] couldnÂ’t control anymore. You’ve heard of recovering drug addicts? It takes a lot of courage to stand and say that — to recover from homosexuality and this type of thing. Not only that. Coming back to your real life — as hard as a task as that is — I’m going to do all that I can to live right,” he said in the hour long interview, which will continue on TV today.
This is how you get your life right, by the way, go on television, you know, go on Oprah, Dr. Phil, TMZ, or what have you. So this guy, folks, he’s toast now. If he had any prayer of having this pay off, he shoulda said he was ecstatic and happy about being gay. But to go out there on Dr. Phil and say that he had to fake being a woman because he was gay and he was in love with Manti Te’o, and now he needs to recover from homosexuality, that’s about the worst thought crime that anybody can commit today, is to want to recover from being gay. So that’s what he said, living right. “I’m gonna do all I can to live right,” which, that’s what he means, I guess, is recover from homosexuality. So there you have it.