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RUSH: I got an invitation. I got an invitation for the TIME 100 bash, and I know I’m not one of the TIME 100. Now, I have been, and maybe once you’ve been there — I’ve never been, but once you’ve been listed then you get invited — but I don’t think I was invited last year. Now, why would I be invited? It’s next month. The invitation, to me, is arriving a little late. It’s like 30 days from now, April the 18th or some such thing. I’m guessing. Hang on just a second.

Here it is. What’s the date? April 23rd. “TIME 100 cordially invite you at Lincoln Center, cocktails, seven, dinner, 8:30, black tie –” that rules me out “– Tuesday, April 23rd.” So just over a month. Now, why would I be getting an invitation to this? Yeah. They do publicize who’s been invited. They can’t publicize who’s going to be there. Well, I guess they could, based on their RSVPs. But I wasn’t invited last year. And I don’t think I was invited the year before. I’ve never attended. I did make the TIME 100 list once. There is a reason why I was invited. If you stop and think about it, it’ll come to you, Snerdley. It’s right there in front of your face. Remember, now, people like me are invited to things like this as circus acts.

I remember I was invited to the 60 Minutes at the time… What was it, the 20th anniversary show or 150th anniversary show? Whatever it was, Steve Kroft invited me, and they put me at Camille Paglia’s table, remember? They thought, “Okay, here’s Camille Paglia, a noted feminist-lesbian activist,” so they put me at a table with her. What they didn’t know was that I already had an e-mail relationship with her and that everything was cool.

We ended up having a great conversation. You shoulda seen it that night. Kroft would walk by the table every ten minutes. I didn’t realize at the time what was going on here. I thought I was really invited because I’d been profiled. That wasn’t it. I was invited ’cause they thought fireworks were gonna happen, and they wanted to be able to watch it. They thought some liberal and I would get into it.

Ed Bradley would take a little tour around the table, too. I was so naive, I didn’t know what was going on. All these CBS guys would come circulate, and they weren’t working the whole room. They’d just come work around our table, and there were never any fireworks. So I know I’m invited as a circus act. So, knowing that… (interruption) Come on, Snerdley! (interruption) That’s why. It’s strictly for one reason.

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