Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: I’m sitting here, I’m watching Obama, and he’s up there giving away other people’s money, and I’m sitting here thinking, “How popular could I be if I could give away everybody else’s money as much as I wanted every day? How popular could I be?” I’m looking, and he’s standing up there, and he’s got that facial expression. He’s lifting his head up like he’s looking over and above everyone.

He’s got the God reverb going in there, and he’s talking about all the great things he’s doing for people, and he’s raising the federal contractor minimum wage up to $10.10 an hour. He doesn’t have to pay for it. Not one dime of it’s coming out of his pocket, and I’m wondering: How popular could I be if I could give away money the way he does? How popular could I be if I could take money away from people that other people hate, like he does, and give it away, and talk about it all day?

How popular could I be if all I did was give money away after taking it from people other people hate, and then spend all day here telling you about it — and then when I finish telling you how much I’m gonna give away to you tomorrow after I’ve taken it away from people you hate, how popular could I be? How much could I make the media love me? And, furthermore, how would anybody stop me? How would anybody compete with that?

Okay, so here I am. I’m giving away other people’s money every day, to the tune of billions of dollars, and people thinking I’m great, and they love me — and I’ve got big compassion. I’ve got a big heart. I care about people, ’cause I’m giving other people’s money away. Then somebody stands up and says, “You know what? That is irresponsible. We need to get spending in line. We need to be responsible about this. We simply can’t keep spending money we don’t have.”

How much would people hate that person?

I wouldn’t have to be right about anything. All I’d have to do is just keep giving money away, and I could beat all comers. Now, what would I have to do if I wanted to be like Obama? Well, I would have to give up everything I believe about personal responsibility, self-reliance, rugged individualism, success, prosperity. I’d have to give up all of that. I would have to give up my desire for a great country.

Because all I would care about is being loved and being invincibly popular and being unbeatable, and that’s how I’d do it. I’d just start giving money away, other people’s money, willy-nilly. Maybe I wouldn’t even have to give it away. I’d just have to say I want to. Maybe promise. “This is what I really want to do and the reason I want to give it away is because you aren’t getting enough.

“The people responsible for giving you money aren’t paying you enough, giving you enough or whatever. But I’m here to fix it.” How much could I be loved? I could probably have the same view I have on abortion and still be loved, if I could give away all kinds of money like Obama is — and at the same time, there’s nobody who could beat me. Nobody could come along, because they would all love me, ’cause they would think I’m on their side.

They would think I’m big-hearted and compassionate. They would think I’m charitable. And I would brag about. I’d brag about how much money I’m giving away. I would brag about how many lives I’m changing. I’d brag about all the people I’m hurting who deserve to be hurt, and I would be loved and adored. How easy would that be? The only thing I would need is access to the money. That’s all I would need. That’s how easy it would be. That’s how easy liberalism is.

I’d have to also broom my conscience.

I would have to literally erase what I believe to be right and wrong, good and bad. I’d have to get rid of all of that. But that’d be easy ’cause I’d be loved. Everybody would be thinking about me all the time. Everybody! All the gossip columns, all of the pop culture media, they would love me. They’d be interested in everything that I did, every fast food joint I went to eat. They would even like my wife. They would even like my family.

They’d love everything about me. They’d think my wife was setting the fashion world on its ear. Whatever my wife did, they would love. It’s that easy, folks. That’s all you have to do. Be Santa Claus. But more importantly, I want you to think about this: How do you oppose that? So here’s a guy making a big deal about all the money he’s giving to people. That’s what he’s doing. Everything he does is how much money he’s giving people.

And, by the way, the reason he’s doing it is because you’ve been shafted. You’ve been screwed since this country was founded by people who have not been fair with you with money. They’ve taken what you’ve had. They haven’t paid you fairly. They haven’t given you health care. They haven’t given you this and that. They don’t give that benefit or what have you. So I come along and say, “I’m gonna fix it all!”

Is there anybody who could stand up and start talking about how this just is impossible? “You can’t. It doesn’t work.” Would people even want to hear that? Would they want to hear anybody say, “Sorry, we can’t afford to give you any more money. We just don’t have any money to give you. You’re essentially gonna have to learn to provide for yourself.” What chance in hell does that guy have against me, as I’m giving everything I can find away?

And, by the way, I’m taking plenty for myself to have. I’ve got a Boeing 747 to fly around on while I give the money away, and I got a house paid for by everybody else while I’m giving money away, and I can throw a party and I can get anybody I want to come, any day of the week, and they will pay me to come there in a form of a campaign contribution, in order to be there while I give away the money.

I can go off anywhere I want, any time I want, and all I’ve gotta do is give the money away. We don’t have to worry about whether the Iranians have a nuke or not. I don’t have to worry about winning a war. I don’t have to worry about that. In fact, I have to tell people that we’ve been wrong everywhere in the world, and we’re gonna stop doing that stuff, and people are gonna love us just like you love me. The rest of the world’s gonna love me!

Because while I’m giving you all this money away and making up for all the dirt sandwiches you’ve eaten, I’m making sure the rest of the world knows that we’re sorry. On the other side here’s somebody, Ted Cruz, who stands up and says, “This is unconscionable. This is irresponsible. We don’t have the money for this. This is destroying people’s lives,” and they wave at Ted Cruz in the rearview mirror, ’cause they still love me, ’cause I’m the one giving ’em money.

I’m the one giving them free health care.

I am the one getting even with the people who will not be nice to ’em.

I am the one who says if they want to smoke marijuana, I’m gonna stand in their way. I’m gonna support it. If two guys want to marry each other, I’m right in there. Whatever anybody wants to do is fine with me, and here’s money for it to boot. How can you beat me? Think you could beat me with Fox News? Think you could beat me with talk radio? How are you gonna do it? (interruption)

No, the mainstream press is not gonna start talking about the deficit. The mainstream press is gonna diminish the deficit. The mainstream press isn’t gonna care about it. (interruption) Oh, you mean because I’m a conservative Republican doing this? Ah. The mainstream press won’t be able to do a thing about my popularity. It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna be telling people that the press and everybody is out trying to stop me from making you happy.

“The press is trying to stop me from giving you money that you deserve! I am through. I am not gonna put up any more with you as a baggage handler at Newark having to decide whether to have mac and cheese or a birthday present for your kid. Here’s both, from me, Rush Limbaugh. I don’t care about the deficit! The deficit’s big because the wrong people stole all the money for 200 years. I’m just taking it back from ’em, and I’m giving it to you, the rightful owners.

“This is your country, you’ve been shafted from the first days of its founding.”

How are you gonna beat me?

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