RUSH: This is Georgia in Canton, Connecticut. Rush Limbaugh, back to the phones. Hello, George. Welcome to the program, sir. Hi.
CALLER: Good afternoon, Rush. I’m out here doing what I was born to do: Listen Rush.
CALLER: Rush, listen. I’m on the horns of a dilemma. The town next to us is Farmington, Connecticut. It was just reported this morning on the local affiliate that you’re on, WTIC in Connecticut, that a farmer in upstate New York — that would be Herkimer, New York — had installed a hidden camera because his cows, his milk cows were apparently feeling anxious and not giving their portion of milk, and it determined that one of the employees of the local Farmington High School was apparently caught on tape having sex with his milk cows.
CALLER: Now, I’m on the horns of a dilemma here. Is the Humane Society, are they gonna fight for the rights of the cows having been raped, or will the left fight for the rights of the man to choose his sex partner?
RUSH: Well, the first thing that has to be determined —
CALLER: What are they going to do Rush?
RUSH: You know, this happened with horses out in Oregon. I’m not making this up. One of the determining factors there was whether or not the horse enjoyed it. Was it consensual?
CALLER: Well —
RUSH: I’m not making it up! I’m not. Literally, it wasn’t consensual. I’m not making that up. So in a circumstance like this — I’m being dead serious — any form of sexual deviancy, there’s not gonna be a mad rush to condemn it.
CALLER: Well, Rush, they relieved this person of his duties at the high school, though. I mean, how is that possible? He can’t make a living now. They deprived him of his income.
RUSH: That is grossly unfair. You’re right.
CALLER: It would seem so.
RUSH: A compassionate society would not do this.
CALLER: I mean, I don’t know what class he was teaching. Perhaps he was teaching animal husbandry.
RUSH: (laughing) Well, the horns of the dilemma you are on could be quite uncomfortable.
CALLER: A-ha! It well could. Rush, I’ve been listening to you since the days of ABC. I’m a longtime listener, and I’m a mind-numbed robot. I just want you to know.
RUSH: I appreciate the call. Thanks very much. I’m not making it up about the horse in Oregon. There was concern about did the horse enjoy it or not. In this case, if the cows are giving less milk and they look anxious, it could be… But I’m telling you, there’s not gonna be this mad dash to condemn sexual deviancy. Mark my words on that.
RUSH: If that guy having sex with the cow ends up marrying the cow, who do you think has to bake the cake?