RUSH: I actually watched the US-Portugal game in the World Cup last night. I actually did. Kathryn was all hepped up about it. Kathryn’s all excited. Kathryn lived in Rio for a time, and she lived in Africa for a time, and lived in Hawaii for a time. She’s lived all over the world and she’s got some fond memories of Rio. The game was not actually in Rio; it was in Brazil. But it was the US, and it was Cristiano Ronaldo. He’s the A-Rod minus all of the gossip scandals. Cristiano Ronaldo, you know the name, right, Snerdley? Well, he is the latest Beckham. You know who David Beckham is. Okay, latest A-Rod.
Do you know why he chose the name Ronaldo? Because his hero’s Ronald Reagan. Ah, yes siree, Bob. He plays for Portugal. I don’t know where he’s from, but he plays for Portugal. Anyway, it was a heartbreaking loss. The US was gonna win their second game, nobody gave ’em a chance, and Portugal scored on a header. They had to go five extra minutes because there were injury time-outs during the game. They had that game. It was one of the most heartbreaking things, and it was probably, I have to say, I’m not a veteran, fan.
I haven’t watched a lot of soccer on TV because I’ve always found it to be slow, monotonous, boring, low scoring, no drama, plus it just makes me tired. Do you know, I looked it up, ’cause I got curious, that’s a huge field that they play on. It can be anywhere from 60 to a hundred yards wide, a hundred to 150 yards long, depending. Do you know what the average distance the players in a soccer game, such as that last night, will run? Take a guess. They’re not jogging. (interruption) No, come on. You’re not even trying to be serious with that guess. That’s not possible, 20 miles.
No, it’s between seven and nine miles, but it’s in an hour and half. Between an hour and a half and two hours, depending on, well, there’s a halftime. But they’re not jogging. These guys are going three-quarters full speed. That is incredible. I wonder how many calories these guys have to eat every day to be able to do that. It was just a heartbreaking loss out there. (interruption) No, no, that’s the point. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a soccer game front to back, until last night. It was amazing because, you know, I’m a sports expert and so I took to it very quickly. I quickly deduced the strategy and the formations and the plays that were being attempted, and I spotted the players that are good and the players that are bad. Just a heartbreaking thing.
RUSH: The next World Cup game for the USA, Snerdley, is Thursday at noon versus Germany. Given our track record against Germany in world wars, I’m not ruling this out. You never know. The USA was not supposed to be anywhere near Portugal last night. They were not supposed to beat Guyana. Hell, the coach didn’t think they’d win anything, but we’ve been pretty victorious over Germany in a couple of world wars. Who says we can’t beat ’em on the soccer pitch Thursday at noon. I’m thinking about JIP’ing it, for those of you in the stick-to-the-issues crowd. Just kidding.