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RUSH: You know, I love it on days when people tell me, “Man, Rush, there is no news out there.” Because inevitably, not inevitably, invariably when people tell me that, I’m loaded with stuff. I’ve had so many people complain, “Rush, I don’t know what you’re gonna talk about. There’s nothing new out there.” There’s all kinds of stuff out there today. And we’re looking forward to heading down the path and getting started, and again, the telephone number is 800-282-2882, and the e-mail address, ElRushbo@eibnet.com.

One thing we have, we put together a parody tune. Brian Williams and Hillary Clinton to “I Got You Babe.” White comedian Paul Shanklin. See what you think of this.

(playing of song)


That’s white comedian Paul Shanklin, the vocal portrayal, Hillary Clinton, Brian Williams, here on the Rush Limbaugh and the EIB Network.

Joe Biden — (laughing) — you know, I’ll tell you, folks, it’s just Joe. To watch this guy and to watch the reaction that people have to Joe Biden is its own reward. And I was thinking, the best Joe Biden pickup lines, can you imagine what they are? You see him, and he’s nuzzling that woman, the wife of whoever it was, yeah, Ashton Carter, not to be confused with Ashton Kutcher, not to be confused with Demi Moore.

Joe was getting as close as he could, and you see him nuzzling that woman, and you wonder, what in the world is he saying? How about, “I put the STD in stud. All I need is you.” (laughing) How about, “You know what? You are much more attractive in person than through my telescope.” And how about, “You know, I want to be reincarnated as your son so I can breast-feed from you.” I can’t take credit for that, that’s a takeoff on the old Dolly Parton joke. “I had a nightmare last night and it was that I was your son and you didn’t breast-feed me.” It’s an old joke. I mean, that goes way, way, way back.

Maybe Biden could have been whispering into her ear and saying, “Hey, does my handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?” (laughing) You know the guy’s got his lines. You know he’s saying something and if we knew what it was we’d be laughing ourselves silly. You know it’s, “Stand up, Chuck, let ’em see you, Chuck, come on, man, oh, Chuck’s in a wheelchair. You can’t stand up, oh, God bless it, oh, let’s all stand up.” The guy is a walking joke, and the idea that he’s ever gonna become president is preposterous.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Call it fake news, call it real news with comedy, call it whatever you want. If it happens on Comedy Central, it’s a laugh riot. If it happens here, it’s insensitive.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I wonder if Joe Biden, he’s talking to Mrs. Carter, said, “Hey, wanna be my butt buddy?” (laughing) Well, he said he had a friend that was a butt buddy. Don’t get mad at me. I’m just taking what’s in the news and making comedy out of it. (interruption) Did I hear what he said?

Yeah, we’ve got what he said about the Somalis, and there aren’t any where he’s talking about the Somalis. There aren’t any Somali cabdrivers in Delaware. He got ’em confused with all of the Indians that work at 7-Eleven. “Somalis, Indians, what’s the difference? They’re all good people and potential Democrat voters.”

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