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RUSH: White House Correspondents Dinner. I mentioned at the very beginning of the program that Comedy Central apparently is stealing from this program. People do not know this, but Rush Limbaugh the TV Show is what The Daily Show is. Except we made fun of left, and except that nobody heard about it. Actually it’s not true that nobody heard about it. Back in those days, 1992 to 1996, we were out-rating David Letterman.

The problem is we didn’t have a single consistent time slot. We were in a different time slot every market. There were a lot of problems with it. This is when Leno and Letterman were going at it and they were dividing their audience, and Rush Limbaugh the TV Show… They told me when we started the show. I said, “What’s this gonna take to work?” They said, “You need to get a four, 4.0.”

So we started from nothing. We started, in the first period, at 2.8, and I think in our second season we hit that magic number of 4.0 and we held that 4.0 throughout the balance of the time. So that’d be three years or so, 2-1/2 or three years. Those of you who watch that show know exactly what it was: We found news involving liberals every day and we used it either for serious political commentary or we mocked and made fun of them and laughed at ’em, exactly what The Daily Show is, and it featured commentary by me.

The only difference is we didn’t have any writers.

We had about a thousand producers looking for video sound bites, but we did not have any writers. It was just me. We had the video clips. Do you remember the videos? The most famous video from that show was the Clinton Ron Brown memorial video, where Clinton is seen crying, shedding a tear. He’s standing next to minister from Ohio or Pennsylvania, and they’re walking into the memorial for Ron Brown, former commerce secretary, killed in a plane crash.

Clinton spots the camera.

In less than of a step he goes from laughing uproariously, really yukking it up, to crying — in less than one step — when he saw that camera. And that video just spelled out exactly, better than any words could, who Bill Clinton is, what a phony he is. People demanded to see that video over and over. But we made fun of the left all the time. Also, it wasn’t long ago — I guess three years ago — when it was firmly established that any criticism of Obama was going to be labeled racist and therefore illegitimate.

I, El Rushbo, conceived of the Official Obama Criticizer, Mr. Snerdley, who has had it confirmed, by the way, he has 100% slave blood. Mr. Snerdley can trace his ancestors back to slavery, so he’s qualified. He’s down for the struggle. He’s got the genealogical track and history to be an official, legitimate Obama criticizer. So the criticizer was born, and whenever serious criticism of Obama was needed, rather than me doing it, I brought on Mr. Snerdley.

Mr. Snerdley, with 100% slave blood, therefore qualified him as a criticizer, would then level the criticism at Obama, and as a bonus, then do it in Ebonics or hip-hop, to reach virtually everybody in the audience. So, lo and behold, at the White House Correspondents Dinner Saturday night Obama engages in a bit that is called “the Anger Translator,” and I guess this has been a staple at Comedy Central for I don’t know how long.

It’s three years, two years, whatever it is. What happens is, in the case the White House Correspondents Dinner, Obama would get up and say something, and then his anger translator would tell the audience what he really meant. Meaning Obama is afraid to say it, so he said it in code. The translator then comes out and would say what Obama really meant, and Obama would be immune from any criticism because he hadn’t actually said anything. The translator would do it.

I mean, it’s a direct rip-off of the Official Obama Criticizer.

Here is a sound bite depicting this. I guess I didn’t even know about this until I read about it. I didn’t even see the correspondents. I didn’t watch it on purpose. Kathryn did. She was relaying things to me. I said, “I don’t even care. I don’t care.” She said, “Boy, Obama seems angry.” I said, “He is.” “Boy, Obama seems mad.” “He is.” That’s what this anger translator bit’s all about. Apparently Comedy Central has a show called Key and Peele, and the character, Luther, is Obama’s anger translator to tell us what he’s really thinking.

OBAMA: Despite our differences, we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day.

AUDIENCE: (laughter)

TRANSLATER: And we can count on Fox Neeeeews to terrify old white people with some nonsense!

AUDIENCE: (laughing)

TRANSLATOR: (screaming) Sharia law’s coming to Cleveland!

RUSH: So they were making fun of Fox News there. What Obama said… I don’t know if the first part of the bite was heard. “Despite our differences, we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day.” Obama said that. Then here came the translator said, “And we can count on Fox Neeeeews to terrify old white people with some nonsense! Sharia law’s coming to Cleveland!” and so forth.

So that’s the translator thus explaining what Obama really thinks but does not say, a direct rip-off of the Official Obama Criticizer. In fact, the reason why we did the Official Obama Criticizer is to point out the hypocrisy of those who claim that any criticism of Obama is racist. Well, what better way to get past that than bring in a guy with 100% slave blood to do the criticizing. I think in honor of this, we should revive the criticizer this week.

It’s been a while since we’ve done it. We have to do it tomorrow. We have to do it by tomorrow. Okay. Also at the White House Correspondents Dinner, Memories Pizza was the target of these effete snobs at what has become popularly known as “the Nerd Prom.” You know, I read someone. I forget his name. Some journalist is really concerned about what’s happening here with the White House Correspondents Dinner that journalists and newsmakers have transformed into celebrities.

This is this isn’t good for our business. This is not good for what we do. But it is perfect for the left. It’s the ideal way for the left to inculcate itself into the pop culture, you know, just have everybody in the news and all the journalists thought of as A-list celebrities, no different than Jay-Z or take your pick. You know, politics, I’ve always said, is just showbiz for the ugly. Politics is showbiz for people that could never make it in Hollywood ’cause they’re too ugly, or they’re too geeky, or they’re too nerdy.

And that’s exactly what this correspondents dinner has become. Anyway, it’s typical. Here you have these effete snobs that are the Washington media and Washington politicians, and they bring in a comedian — this time Cecily Strong from Saturday Night Live — and, of course, it’s still open season on that harmless, didn’t-ever-do-anything-to-anybody family, in Indiana, that owns Memories Pizza. I guarantee you nobody from Memories Pizza was there. So they tell us they’re tolerant and compassionate. They tell us they’re the fairest of us all.

They’re the meanest of us all. They decide to get in on Memories Pizza.

STRONG: I hope everyone enjoyed dinner. We tried to get Memories Pizza to cater this event but they heard a rumor Barney Frank might be here.

AUDIENCE: (silence)

STRONG: So thanks a lot, Barney.

AUDIENCE: (silence)

STRONG: We could have had that world famous Indiana pizza.

AUDIENCE: (smattering of polite laughter)

RUSH: Right, right, right, right. Good try. Yeah, these are the people that really care about the little guy. Yeah, these are the people that do everything they do so the downtrodden and the hungry and the thirsty get recognized, don’t get trampled on, don’t get run over and this kind of stuff. Here they are just making open fun of these people, in a pathetic joke anyway.

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