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RUSH: Now, the Trump Easter Sunday golf course story. I’ve been meaning to tell it for a couple of days. Now I forget why I was even going to mention the story. It related to something that was happening. But since I committed to telling the story, here it is:

Trump and I had agreed to play golf on a Sunday many, many weeks in advance, not realizing it was Easter Sunday. We both show up. Nobody, neither one of us called the other to cancel on the basis that it was Easter. So we showed up, showed up early, balls in the air at eight o’clock, and about ten o’clock Trump’s phone starts ringing. “Excuse me, wait a minute, Rush.” He goes a few steps away, comes back. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s keep going.” Phone keeps ringing every 20 minutes. It’s Melania reminding him that it’s Easter and they’ve got a big thing going at Mar-a-Lago. We both knew it but had not acknowledged it because we both screwed up scheduling on that day. It wouldn’t have happened, but it just escaped memory. The idea was to play early, get it done and, you know, be finished by noon and be able to meet church and Easter Sunday dinner requirements.

Melania was getting worried that Trump wasn’t gonna make it so he finally said, “Rush, do you mind if we quit early?” We were I think at 15. And I said, “Not at all. Let’s just jump over and play 18 and head on in.” And that’s what we did. The reason I was gonna tell you the story, it was gonna relate to something that was happening at the time. It had to do with Trump and women. He was extremely deferential when Melania was on the phone and he did everything he could not to cancel on me and to satisfy the commitment and make it home in time for Easter.

The reason I was gonna tell the story at the time this came up, there was something being said that Trump is his usual selfish, self-centered, self-focused, doesn’t respect women kind of thing. And the reason I was gonna tell the story was personal experience would dispel all of that. So we got it wrapped up by like 11 o’clock and everything was fine. Everything was fine. And as we’re heading out to the parking lot, he’s pointing, “See that Rolls-Royce? That belongs to the richest guy in Italy. No, no, no, it’s the Ferrari, richest guy in Italy.” And he’s pointing out every car. He knows whose car every member is. It’s just funny. Nothing about his personality is offensive or off-putting.

You just marvel. You stand there laughing at it, plus you get into it with him. You know, he hits the ball 300 yards off. I’ve heard that he cheats on his handicap. He doesn’t. I’ve played with him a number of times. Every time I played with him he plays to a six and he hits the ball a mile. He was surprised when he saw how far I hit the ball. (imitating Trump) “You know what, this is really you. You got a chance at this game. I mean, you can’t play the game if you can’t hit the ball far. Nobody wants to tell anybody that. You got all these wimps out here, I see ’em using the white tees, the ladies tees, I just have to laugh at ’em. But they’re members so I look past it. But you can hit the ball.

“You can’t play this game if you can’t swing hard. You can swing hard. You can hit the ball. You got good, solid contact. This is great. You should keep after it. If I couldn’t hit the ball 180 yards off the tee, I’d quit. I wouldn’t be any fun. I wouldn’t want to be out here. I see these guys out there swinging everything they’ve got, 150 yards, I just cringe, my God, but they’re good paying members. What am I gonna do? I love ’em all, Rush, I love ’em all, but I couldn’t play if I couldn’t hit the ball like 250 yards, it wouldn’t be any fun.” And the whole time bragging about every hole, how it was designed, why it’s better than any other golf hole in the world. Why his waterfall is better than anybody else’s waterfall. How Vegas copied his waterfall. (laughing) It’s a riot.

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