RUSH: Hi, folks. I’m gonna try to start the program here, but I have a feeling the door is gonna open here in a moment and whatever I am in the middle of will be interrupted. So why don’t I just wait for the door to open like it always does, despite every year asking that it not happen. Here it comes. Oh, now it closed. Maybe they’re not gonna do it.
Anyway, greetings, my friends, and welcome. It is the Rush Limbaugh program here on the Excellence in Broadcasting Network, and here they come. Exactly as predicted. Ah, here it comes, the staff here at the EIB Southern Command once again (staff sing happy birthday) in total defiance of my commands.
SNERDLEY: How old are you now?
RUSH: I’m an official seasoned citizen now.
RUSH: Never felt younger, except when I was a teenager. Let me make a wish and blow these out. Whoops. Trick candles.
DAWN: No, no.
RUSH: Yes, they were. There was one that didn’t go out. I got it, though. Anyway, that’s a gorgeous looking cake. That really is. Every favorite color I have in there. Thank you all very much. I appreciate it. I realize that I can’t stop this from happening. You know why I know? Because I have had to learn how to receive. I haven’t been good at that over the years, but I am getting better at it. So rather than complain and whine about how you’re interrupting the program and defying my commands and wishes, I’m just going to say thanks.
SNERDLEY: You’re welcome.
RUSH: I appreciate it.
SNERDLEY: Wait till you see what we got planned next year.
RUSH: What? (laughing) Anyway, I’ve always felt birthdays, you know, what’s the big deal. Yeah, you were born, big whoop, but unless you live in a Third World country, surviving year after year is not that big a deal. And you know me, folks, I don’t like being the center of attention. I don’t like being the focus. It makes me nervous and self-conscious and so forth, and birthdays are always that and there’s no real achievement involved here, but I’m getting better at it.
Anyway, it’s great to have you. Thank you. So many people have sent me birthday wishes, it’s hard to respond to them individually. I’ve tried, but, if you sent a note of some kind and I haven’t replied, rest assured I got it and I’m very much appreciative.
RUSH: Thanks once again to everybody who has extended happy birthday wishes along the way. There’s no way I can respond to all of them, so I’m doing it here. I sincerely appreciate it. It’s a hell of a present to have to watch the swan song State of the Union.
Is it a bad sign that I don’t want to watch this tonight, or does it mean I’m still sane? Nah, I don’t think anybody does want to watch it, either, but it is required.