RUSH: It’s a story in the College Fix. This is one of our college websites that we follow, young conservatives. This is the headline: “Male College Students Are Weaklings Compared to Their Fathers, Research Finds — If you’ve ever cradled your hand in pain after shaking hands with an older man, this research may explain why.
“Among the ‘articles in press’ by the Journal of Hand Therapy, whose audience is therapists treating ‘disabling hand problems,’ is an examination of hand strength among 20-to-34 year-olds studied in 1985 and 2015.” I’m not making this up. “Research from Winston-Salem State University found that today’s young males have far less ‘grip strength’ than males the same age 30 years ago.” And lest you think this is an oddball, kook story, this story was summarized by the Washington Post.
And the Washington Post says that “the differences among younger Millennials are even more striking: The average 20-to-34-year-old today, for instance, was able to apply 98 pounds of force when gripping something with his right hand. In 1985, the average man could squeeze with 117 pounds of force.”
So the inarguable conclusion is that male college students are weaker compared to their fathers. So that would then beg the question, well, why. What would be the reasons behind this? And the story does not go into that.
RUSH: Have you heard, folks, this is embarrassing. This is literally embarrassing to have to do this story, but it’s out there, and everybody’s — have you heard about this Japanese pole vaulter? Well, it’s easy to do, but it’s one of these things that you never thought you would ever be talking about on a family-oriented radio broadcast. Well, all I’ve got is a gif. I don’t have a still shot. No, wait, maybe I do have it. I think I did just see a still shot. No. Probably not. I don’t know. We’ll put it at RushLimbaugh.com. I don’t want to hold this thing in my hand. I’ve already done that once today.
Okay. So you’ve got this Japanese pole vaulter. You know these guys at the Olympics, they’re doing like women, they’re dressing in as little as they can get away with, it’s all Spandex or Lycra or what have you. Now, for whatever reason, male athletes today differ greatly also from their fathers and grandfathers in that they shun the jockstrap, the revered and traditional athletic supporter is not used by very many male athletes lately. And the reason is that they want the visible image of a great package to be seen by TV viewers, predominantly obviously women.
And so this poor guy, this poor Japanese pole vaulter, vaulting over the crossbar, and his penis flops at the very moment he’s crossing the bar, the penis flops against the crossbar, meaning his vault is declared null and void, illegal, you can’t touch anything going over, and the world knows it.
There’s a gif that just repeats this, you can see it plain as day. His nickname is obviously gonna be something like The Flopper after this is all over. But imagine, folks, the ignominious distinction here of having lost your dream, a record-setting pole vault because your penis flopped next to the crossbar, up against it, as you’re going over the thing.