RUSH: I want to grab a call here. Mr. Snerdley… You know, I got up and I ran about a quarter of a mile during the break, and I came back in to get ready to do the program. Snerdley said, “Check the caller on Line 1.” So I came in and I didn’t know what it could be. Was it the president calling from Vietnam? Was it Vladimir Putin calling? Was it Roy Moore calling to deny it? I had no idea what it was. (interruption) Well, that’s what was going through my head.
CALLER: How you doing, Rush? It’s a pleasure speaking with you.
RUSH: I’m doing great.
CALLER: (chuckling) I was telling Bo, I don’t know if you remember this or not. It was back in ’84 or ’85. I’m an old asphalt paver, retired asphalt paver, and I worked for the striping crew for parking lots, and the whole week our company had been working at KFBK studios.
RUSH: Wait a minute. You’re retired now or you were retired then?
CALLER: No, no, no. I’m retired now.
RUSH: You’re a retired striper now. Okay.
CALLER: Yes, for an asphalt paving company where I worked for years.
RUSH: All right.
CALLER: And the whole week the company had been working, the paving crew had been working at KFBK studios over by Arden Fair Mall.
RUSH: Yeah, yeah. I know exactly where it is. Absolutely. I’ll never forget any of that.
RUSH: (laughing) It’s not that close! Don’t give the wrong idea.
RUSH: I mean, you still need meal money to get to Rio Linda if you decide to drive there.
CALLER: Anyway, I’m there on a Saturday ’cause they want to get the cars out of there and there was light traffic in there on Saturdays.
CALLER: I’m like, “You dirty dog. You send me up here on Saturday ’cause I know I’m not gonna see this Rush Limbaugh guy,” and you come pulling up and you couldn’t get in because we had the parking lot closed. So you came walking in. You were with somebody. I don’t know who you were with. So I’ve got my striping machine, and you stopped, and you were looking at it, and you wanted to know how it worked, and you asked if you could make a stripe on the asphalt. I said, “Sure! Go ahead.” (laughing) You were all excited about it — and it turned out to be a banana, and I didn’t care.
RUSH: (laughing) A banana! (laughing)
CALLER: I said, “You can get a job here any time, Rush.”
RUSH: Ha! Were you able to correct the mistake?
RUSH: I’m trying to remember why I would have been going in on a Saturday. Did it happen to be…? Well, no, it couldn’t have been because you said there was no traffic there.
CALLER: Well, there was slight traffic. Yeah, the stripers usually worked on Saturdays because that’s when the parking lots are empty.
RUSH: What time of year was it? Do you remember?
CALLER: Oh, gosh. It was a couple months before St. Patrick’s Day because then I saw you at Shanley’s on St. Patrick’s Day. Do you remember Shanley’s Bar & Grill? (laughing)
RUSH: Of course I do!
RUSH: I was the grand marshal of the St. Patrick’s Day that year and I had to host the luncheon.
RUSH: Absolutely. You were stalking me there? Oh, no. You were striping the parking lot at Shanley’s right? (laughing)
CALLER: At Bill Shanley’s, yes! He and my father were good friends. (laughing) I couldn’t believe it! I said, “I ran into this guy twice in the past couple of months.”
RUSH: Yeah. There were death threats. I had to wear body armor walking that route that year.
CALLER: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
CALLER: (laughing) It was about 120 degrees there.
RUSH: That’s a different day. The Shanley’s lunch is on Friday before the big shindig or whatever it was.
CALLER: Yeah, we would always go.
RUSH: Man, oh, man, you’re bringing back some memories ’cause Sacramento’s my adopted hometown.
RUSH: I know exactly the KFBK location right down the street from those three spaceship movie theaters.
CALLER: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
RUSH: Flying saucer movie theaters.
CALLER: They’re gone now. The domes. (laughing)
RUSH: Well, you know, I talked to a friend of mine who was in Sacramento for the first time in a long time, and I haven’t… I need to get back. I haven’t been in way too long. But a friend of mine said he was there not long ago and it’s amazingly gentrified and different. I said, “It must be the work of the new mayor.” Well, not the “new” mayor, Kevin Johnson. He did a bang-up job. Well, look, Andrew, I’m glad you called. I’m glad you got through. What reminded you of that? I mean, of all days to call and talk about me grabbing your striper machine in the parking lot of KFBK, what prompted you to call today?
CALLER: I just was thinking about it last night, and I was watching TV, and I was just kind of missing what I used to do, and I said, “I’ll call Rush.”
RUSH: So, let me ask you: When you’re driving the highway and you see the dotted-line stripes —
CALLER: Uh-huh? Yes.
RUSH: — do you think, “That looks good. Those guys did that well,” or, “They did it poorly”?
CALLER: Well, nowadays…
RUSH: Since you used to do that, I mean, do you judge other stripers’ work as you watch it, look at it?
CALLER: Nowadays, Rush, you could be blind and do it. It’s all done by laser.
CALLER: You know, back in my day you had to watch it.
RUSH: All you stripers out there at Caltrans, you could be blind and do it.
CALLER: (laughing) Well, just the machinery, the technology is so much better.
RUSH: Yeah. Just a way of saying you had talent back then and the guys doing it today don’t need any.
CALLER: Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. And you had to have a good eye.
RUSH: Because if I… Yeah, I don’t remember. You know, I really don’t remember making a banana but I’m not gonna sit here and deny it.
CALLER: Well, I told you it was good. I remember saying, “Rush, look at that. That is the best-looking stripe in this lot.” It was something like a two-hour job and I made that thing drag out. “I’m gonna stay here. It’s a Saturday; there’s no way this guy’s showing up. No way.” (laughing)
RUSH: Well, there had to be a reason. The only time… You know, we all had to work on a Saturday after they had a major, major flood, and it would have been about that time. It was earlier in the year than March and St. Patrick’s Day.
RUSH: I never took anybody in there to show off ’cause I got over that when I was a teenager, showing off a radio station.
RUSH: So there must have been a legitimate business reason to go in there. I know it wasn’t a sexual harassment suit so it’s not that.
CALLER: You were intrigued.
RUSH: What was that?
CALLER: You were really intrigued with how the machine worked, the whole nine yards.
RUSH: Well, I’m fascinated with everything people do.
CALLER: Oh, yes.
RUSH: I’ve always been curious about what people do and why and what they try to do to be the best at it, if they do.
CALLER: That’s what makes you the hero you are.
RUSH: I’ve never seen… I’ve seen that done, but I’ve never done it myself. So you graciously let me have your machine. I mean, anything could have happened.
CALLER: (laughing) It was good. It was good.
CALLER: I had a smile on my face for a month.
RUSH: Okay, well, look, before you go, Andrew, this is prize day on the EIB Network.
CALLER: Oh, wow! (chuckles)
RUSH: Well, I’ve got some iPhone Xs — which nobody can get, but I have some. If you don’t want the X, I got some 8s or 8 Pluses.
CALLER: You are so generous.
RUSH: You tell me. Which one would you like?
CALLER: You’re kidding.
RUSH: No, I’m not kidding.
CALLER: I’m still working on the 4S.
RUSH: Oh, for crying out loud!
RUSH: You’ve gotta go X.
CALLER: I’ve gotta kick-start this thing every morning. (laughing)
RUSH: I believe it. (laughing) All right.
RUSH: Look, who’s your carrier? Who’s your cell phone carrier?
RUSH: AT&T. Okay. I’m gonna send you a phone that will work on AT&T. You’ll have to swap… No. You know what? You can’t. That 4S is such an antique.
RUSH: No, no. I’m serious. You’re gonna have to take the 4S and the new phone to AT&T to have your number moved over to it.
CALLER: Oh, really? Okay.
RUSH: And that’s the safest way to do it anyway. You tell ’em the phone was a gift. You tell ’em it was gift. You don’t have to mention my name. Just tell ’em. Take your old phone and tell ’em it was a gift and you want your number moved.
CALLER: Oh, gosh, Rush.
RUSH: They’ll love to see you. They’ll be happy to do it.
CALLER: Gosh, Rush, I appreciate this.
RUSH: You’re more than welcome. It’s the least I could do for somebody who let me take over their striper machine one day.
CALLER: You were a striper for a day! (laughing)
RUSH: For a minute! But I can put it on the resume. I can say I’ve done it.
CALLER: (laughing) Yes!
RUSH: Okay, Andrew, hang on. Mr. Snerdley will be back to get an address from you.
CALLER: Yes, sir.
RUSH: We’ll have it out to you next week, okay? So be patient. By the way, do you have color preference? They come in silver and space gray. They’re both black on the front. Does it matter?
CALLER: Gray is fine.
RUSH: All right, fine. That’s what it is. AT&T and space gray.
And we will be back right after this. Don’t hang up. Don’t hang up.