Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: Got some hot news from NASA, folks! Saturn’s rings are disappearing faster than anybody thought — and it’s very, very bad news.

Saturn’s rings disappearing is being caused by excessive global heat from earth’s auto industry (SUVs and stuff) and factory farming, along with President Trump’s withdrawal from the Paris climate accords.

Actually, I made that up. But it sounds JUST like the drivel we’re always told whenever science announces a new crisis, right?

No, the real reason Saturn’s rings are disappearing is that they’re made mostly of ice. Gravity is pulling the rings down to the surface of Saturn and they’re falling to the surface as ring-water.

Scientists, who are brilliant at predictions, used to think the rings had 300 million years to live. But after a Cassini-spacecraft Saturn flyby, the science has been revised, and now the rings have only 100 million years to live.

I truly hope they, and we, make the best of that time, because a hundred million years? I mean, it’ll be up before we know it, and the sea levels will have risen so high that we’ll all have drowned by then. Uh, unless we’re all dead by then. It’s a hundred million years.

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