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RUSH: Here’s Madeleine in Melbourne, Florida, right up the road. Great to have you with us on the EIB Network. Hi.

CALLER: Hi. It’s an honor to speak with you.

RUSH: Thank you!

CALLER: Well, I’m so excited. I finally took the plunge after listening to you about Boll & Branch, and did some research. Even though I always believed you, I still gotta do my own little research, and I —

RUSH: I understand! Look, you got a guy on the radio telling you that a pair of sheets, a set of sheets that cost 250 bucks, are as luxurious as anything you’ve ever slept on. I can understand you wanting to validate that yourself. I don’t take it personally that you want to go above and beyond what I’m saying.

CALLER: I research everything, so…

RUSH: Well, that’s good. You’re a Trump supporter, right?

CALLER: Oh, my God. (chuckling) Yes.

RUSH: Well, see? Research has even validated that.


RUSH: All right. So, am I right? You have your box there that you just got —


RUSH: — and you want to open them —

CALLER: I want to open my box.

RUSH: — on this call?

CALLER: Yes. I got it out of cardboard. I’m sitting here staring at the white box and about to untie the little bow here.

RUSH: Folks, do you realize the risk here? You talk about risks. You realize the risk that we’re taking? This woman could tell me in a moment that she thinks these sheets are not what I have been saying they are, and I am allowing this risk to happen in front of millions.

CALLER: Okay. I’m untying it. (noise) Holy cow! Wow. This is really different. You know when sheets usually come in the plastic, zippered case? These are in this beautiful little knapsack. Oh, my gosh.

RUSH: I have told you about the packaging. I told you the packaging is so great that you’re gonna be giving these away —

CALLER: Oh, my God.

RUSH: — as Christmas presents. You watch.

CALLER: Oh, my God. I’ve never seen anything like this. There’s no cardboard. There’s one little, tiny little thing of cardboard in here. These feel like butter. Oh, my God! These feel like the softest thing to me. I have —

RUSH: Whew!

CALLER: These are incredible, from what I’m feeling right now. Oh, my God.

RUSH: We’re sweating bullets here at the EIB Network. We’re cool now.

CALLER: (laughing) No, these are great. They literally feel like silky butter. I have —

RUSH: What color? What color did you order?

CALLER: Well, I don’t like plain, boring colors. I found the Summer Vines, the Coral. I was debating if I should get the tan one or Coral.

RUSH: I thought she said “Playboy colors” at first.

CALLER: (giggling)

RUSH: I was wondering, “What are those? But… So plain, boring colors?

CALLER: Yeah. I just don’t like plain white and plain ivory.

RUSH: What size, what size are the sheets? What size of bed you have?

CALLER: These are full.

RUSH: “These are full.” All right. So you like the packaging?

CALLER: Packaging is incredible. The little… Like I said, the sack, I just love. It’s not in that stupid plastic zipper bag like all sheets come in cardboard.

RUSH: And you can tell just holding that sheet in your hands that it feels different?

CALLER: Oh, yeah. No. I can already tell. I mean, I know instantly when I get something like this that it’s gonna be good.

RUSH: Okay. Did anybody pay you to do this?

CALLER: (chuckles) No.

RUSH: Did you prearrange this call with anybody at the EIB Network, even though that’s so against policy? If that were discovered to have happened, heads would roll. Did you do that?

CALLER: No. I was expecting the sheets to come tomorrow, and I saw the FedEx thing on my email. “They’re coming today!” So my heart was pounding all morning. Couldn’t wait, couldn’t wait. I get ’em, and then it just dawned on me, “Ooh,” as I was listening to you to begin with, “let me call Rush real quick, see if I can get in.”

RUSH: All right.

CALLER: (chuckles) And I did it.

RUSH: Now I’m assuming since you live in Melbourne, you have an air-conditioned home?

CALLER: Ah, yes. It’s on 74 right now.

RUSH: All right. Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to have your normal, active day. You put those sheets on the bed. Don’t wash ’em yet. Put ’em on the bed. Have your normal active day. Then right before you go to bed, get in the shower. Take a hot shower, towel off, and then get in bed. And then… If you think they feel buttery now? (Snort!) Wait ’til the end of a long day with some work thrown in on a hot day like this after a shower. You think they’re buttery right now? You wait. You try that, and you call back and tell us what you think. Look, I’m out of time, Madeleine,. I appreciate it more than you know.


RUSH: So I checked the email during the break and I knew it was gonna happen. “You set that Boll & Branch call up. It was obvious.” No, we didn’t. Look, I was fairly confident that it was gonna go the way it did, but it was entirely possible that that could have been a setup and that woman could have called in, “These things feel like cardboard, I can’t believe it.” It could have happened. I rolled the dice in here, folks, and it was great.

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