RUSH: (Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” playing) Man, I’ll tell you, folks, I thought I had a hard day yesterday. I thought I had a really hard day yesterday. But it must have been a really hard day at the New Yorker. I know this made headlines. But let’s be honest here. Jeffrey Toobin has been tooting his own horn for a long time now.

Everybody’s worried that Toobin is gonna take the Biden story off the front page. No, Toobin is considered one of these guys. Toobin is a left-wing commentator on CNN. Toobin had an affair with Jeff Greenfield’s daughter and knocked her up and then asked her to go get an abortion.

So yesterday — they’re doing a simulation at the New Yorker, a Zoom simulation, and somehow Jeffrey Toobin, in the middle of a hard day, is caught masturbating on camera on Zoom. He said, I forgot, I didn’t know. He turned the camera down, his laptop lid, turned it down, stood up, and there it was for everybody to see.

So my question is, what are these liberals doing masturbating in front of each other on a Zoom call at the New Yorker? These people are nuts. They run around talking about whatever we are, what they say we are. Meanwhile, these people are running around doing a voting seminar while masturbating on a Zoom call?

I know, look. It could be an attempt to take the heat off Biden. Jeffrey Toobin figured if he lifted his own lid making all kinds of news Biden wouldn’t have to lift his lid and answer a single question about Hunter. But they need to send a thank-you note to Jeffrey Toobin. They really do. Toobin, a master debater from way back, took attention away from the Biden crime family for a news cycle.

Now, if CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, can just get one of their anchors or analysts every day to do what Jeffrey Toobin did and do it up until Election Day, maybe the country will be distracted from the shocking corruption of Joe “Big Guy” Biden’s family. That ought to be Trump’s first question, by the way, at the debate. “Are you the big guy? Are you the big guy?” They’ll mute his microphone the minute he does that. “Are you the big guy?”

Who knows how these things affect voters, really, something that Jeffrey Toobin does. Because he’s so tightly associated with the left, he’s so tightly associated with the Bidens. He’s tight with the Democrat Party. He wants it that way; it has been that way. CNN, ditto. So let’s forget Toobin for just a second. (Can we eliminate the Michael Jackson tune there? We made the point.)

What the heck was this simulation call over? Why would they be playacting on a zoom call? Is this what leftists do for fun? Why would a magazine staff be doing this? Well, “Jeffrey Toobin Was Masturbating in Front of New Yorker Bigs, Report Says — Now he is the talk of the town. The New Yorker writer and CNN analyst Jeffrey Toobin didn’t just expose himself during a Zoom work meeting — he was allegedly caught masturbating in the call with some of the magazine’s biggest names, and has been suspended from the publication.”

I don’t think CNN has a problem with this. They have not suspended him. Have you heard? (interruption) I don’t think they have a problem at all. I think they’re probably applauding it. I think CNN says: Oh, yeah, this is great stuff! “‘I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera,’ the 60-year-old married Harvard Law School grad said in a stunning admission to Vice, which broke news of the … incident Monday.

“‘I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,’ he said.” Who mutes video? “I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” and I apologize to the Bidens. He didn’t say that. But you know he’s thinking it. (interruption) Oh, is that right? CNN put him on leave? When did that happen? (interruption) “A couple hours ago.”

I missed it. They put him on…? Is it interminable leave, two weeks’ leave, or just split the scene for a while, while we let the heat blow over? (interruption) Oh, he asked for some time off. Right. He’s gotta go out and learn how to use Zoom, obviously. He “muted” the video and it didn’t get muted. “Two people on the video call told Vice the virtual gathering…” This is where this gets curious to me.

“Two people on the video call told Vice the virtual gathering,” the Zoom call, “was part of an election simulation last week that included New Yorker notables such as Jane Mayer, Evan Osnos, Masha Gessen and Jelani Cobb, as well as producers from the magazine and WNYC public radio.” What is an “election simulation” at The New Yorker? What? I can’t fathom. What does The New Yorker do on election night? What’s an election simulation?

“The two sources said that at one point, it looked as if Toobin was taking another call and lowered his camera, and that’s when they saw him getting to work — on himself. It was unclear what, if anything, others on the virtual call saw. During the simulation, Osnos had been playing the role of … Joe Biden, Gessen was President Trump, Mayer represented establishment Republicans…”

She wouldn’t know how to portray “establishment Republicans” if her life depended on it. And this Cobb babe, Jelani Cobb, “stood in for the Democrats. … Toobin was supposed to be playing the part of the courts, while Andrew Marantz represented the far right, Sue Halpern was the left and Dexter Filkins stood in for the military.” Anybody have any idea what this could possibly have been?

An election simulation? Were they simulating what happens if Biden wins, then doing a simulation of what happens if Trump wins? This is a very, very strange bunch of people, folks. We’ve known this. This is a very, very strange thing for these people to be doing — and remember, they think they are the brightest in the room. They think they’re special.

They think they are, in fact, elitists.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: T-Rex, Bang a Gong, song dedicated to Jeffrey Toobin straight from the bumper rotation at the EIB Network.

I’m sitting here thinking. You know how “Lewinsky” has become a nickname for a certain sexual behavior, a verb or what have you? Do you think “Toobin” will become a similar slang? Like, we say, “What are you doing, huh?” “I was doin’ Toobin.” “Just now?”

“Yeah. I was doin’ the Toobin.” You think it will ever become like…? (interruption) Well, I don’t know. That’s just it. I don’t know if he’s big enough. I don’t know if he’s big enough to pull that off. We’ll just have to wait and see. In his mind, I’m sure that he is.